The Art of Rhysisms

Rhysisms [Reece Is-ums]: Stupid, no meaning sentances. Created by Rhys Wynne [Reece Win] for his blog, The Art of Rhysisms. [more..]

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Designed on a computer with IE5.5, with resolution 1024x768 16 Bit colour. But it should degenerate okay. If you're lucky. With the wind behind you.
Tuesday, December 31, 2002

Review of the year 2002
I'd thought I'd look back at the year, see the highlights and the lowlights (are there such a thing?). This post is long, all text and a few I love it!

The year began where the last one ended, with me being pissed. After being hungover for all of New Years, I eventually went to see The Lord of The Rings (the first one) and immediately became a fan. January was also noteable for my second (out of three) batch of A Level exams. I also start video games programming, and dump Visual Pinball Programming. I release Ripcord and Blitz Lights.

Toughie. Nothing majorly happened in February, except that for the 18th year running I successfully predicted the amount of Valentine Day cards I'd get. Zero. Also started work on The Square Game, I'd thought it'd take a month to make, it didn't.

March, much more successful March. This month was my 18th birtday. Unfortunately, the day of my 18th was marred by 3 mock exams. However, this picked up with (probably) the best day of the year, where we hijacked the back room in The Marine pub in Old Colwyn, and drunk ourselves (especially me) to oblivion. Lovely! Plus there was me being the bonus of me being legal for absolutely everything under the sun (that matters). However, this dream is short lived when I realise I have no forms of identification.

April was another one of those months that very little happened. My brother turned 16, my mum turned 21 (or so she says). Not much seemed to happen. I think it was just preparing for A Levels, and going out getting drunk. The original Intruder Alert was released, but no signs of The Square Game. Yet.

Again, much preparation for A Levels occurred. However, we left school this month, and spent the rest of the month down the pub, drinking copious amounts of alcohol. Also, the World Cup began this month, with Tom "Money In the Bank!" Williams sure that France would win. We all know what happened, don't we? The problem with no ID was getting worse, as I had trouble getting in some places. This had a knock on effect, as I grew a goatee (or tried to). I finally finish off The Square Game (well, upto a point), and need a new persuit. After making the form book, I decided to write my thoughts on a website, and my second blog (the first one consisted of three very long posts about 6 form life, and that's it) began!

June was dominated with A Levels. It wasn't all work mind, as I let myself out to see the Queen and also watch Lewis hammer Tyson. In conjunction with the World Cup, I release Penalty Prize, which at one point was in negotiation for publishing. I also finally get two things. A job and ID! Regular readers would notice I also leave for two weeks, with little explination.

July, with little happening on my blog, mainly consisted of programming and working, as my friends went off to Gran Canaria for a week. The Wormhole was released.

I recieved my A Levels this month and the annual Wynne Family trip to Devon proved to be a bit annoying, as that some insolent bastards with no idea of anything not-English thought it would be funny to call me a "Sheep Shagger". Morons. Also, on a happier note, it was my first encounter with Tekken 4, and also first time I experienced the custom "pulling". Must be doing something right, eh readers?

September was highlighted by one event, and one event only. The beginning of my course at The University of Liverpool, and meeting a whole new batch of people. Unfortunately, it occurred that the people who lived immediately me turned out to (in general) be certified, grade A, paid with privelages text book knob heads. Apart from that, and the fact I got zero sleep, uni was great.

The worst month of my life, I seriously wanted out of the University, due to the people around me. However, I wasn't totally pushed out until Hallowe'en, whereby the combination of me learning a room was empty, and a ball going through my next door neighbours window. Then I knew I had to go.

November began well, I was at home. However, I soon went back to Liverpool, and, more importantly, JJ72. Most importantly, I was moving out, at fucking last, on bonfire night. After initial fears of fitting in, and again with lack of sleep, I was relieved that my entire new block is fantastic. So, I finally got down to enjoying university. Bliss. Also, Intruder Alert 2 was released.

Despite discovering the joys of Vice City, December was a pretty quiet month. Most of my posts reflected this, as they were pretty philosophical (well, I thought so). Look through the month if you want more information.

So that wraps up "2k2" for you. Overall, it's been a pretty good year. I've experienced highs (mainly my 18th) and lows (mainly my first 8 weeks of university life) that have been greater than before. But the goods far outweigh the lows.

Predictions for next year? None really, obviously I hope that my second year of university will be good, and my house (if I'm moving into a house) will be nice. It's impossible to say what will happen in the next twelve months. This time last year, I myself was a lot different than I am today.

May I wish everybody who reads this site a Happy New Year, and, for the last time this year, Keep the Faith.


Monday, December 30, 2002

Me to a tea
People say two things about this blog. Firstly is "Why am I always so happy?" and secondly "Why don't you ever speak your mind?". I hope to answer these two questions.

Firstly, I am a very content person. About 75% of people who write personal blogs are depressed people (generally, but not always, teenagers) who look to blogs as a means of escape. I'm not. I am a egotistical, lazy, but very content bastard who does this because I want everybody to know everything about me, and that's the gods honest truth.

Going onto lazy and happy. Yes I am. I am generally very thick skinned, and I don't complain about anything except for lack of rest. If I cannot be arsed about doing something then I probably won't do it. Even revision for important university exams that start in a week (bugger). In fact, my probable cause of death will be that I cannot be bothered breathing.

The next question is that, yes, my life because of my lazy attitude is quite boring. I generally don't pick up on things that are going on around me, and my thoughts on them are usually "Oh, that's bad", or "Oh, that's good". I was crap at all subjects whereby I had to explain myself, usually ending up with the answer "WELL, IT JUST IS...ACCEPT IT!" or something along those lines. To show you how wierd and indeed boring my mind is, the last 10 minutes has been preoccupied with two simple thoughts.

  1. If the picture I drew in this post would be eligble for the turner prize.
  2. Why isn't the Zone working?

That's it, bloody interesting huh?

In other news
I am (by my watch) 5 minutes away from 24 hours of soberity. Wish me luck, as I'm entering unchartered waters.

Keep the faith


Always the last to know
I hate it, nobody tells me anything. Well, either that or I forget easily. In any rate, last friday was a shock to my system.

You see, I'll be honest. I am a mammy's boy. My mum does look after quite a lot of my life. Even at university, she looks over my money (don't worry, I've allowed her to do so, she's not committing any crime) to make sure I don't spend too much. She sorts everything out for me, she's great. One thing that does kinda worry me is that she didn't tell me I have a dental 'operation' tomorrow, at 9am. Either that or I forgot. Hell, I'm not to fussy. Now, this is the same problem I had over the summer. For those of you who cannot be arsed to flick back through the archives (hell, I don't blame you), here's a diagramatical explination. Unfortunately, my digicam is on the blink, due to lack of baterries, and I cannot be bothered to get anymore, so here is an 'artist's' impression....

My mouth, by me..

Okay, imagine you are a chip, a Kitkat, or any piece of foodstuff, and you are looking upwards at my mouth. With me? Yeah? Good. Tooth 1 will be taken out, it is a baby tooth, so will provide as much force as a pillow. A brace will be fitted across tooth 2 and tooth 3 in order to push tooth 2 into the position tooth 1 was. Easy enough, so why am I complaining?

Well, the only slight bugger is that for 12 hours before and 12 hours after I have to keep sober (due to the anastethic. I know I've spelt it wrong, but I don't really care). Easy enough, only that tomorrow is the traditional-by-almost-everybody biggest drinking night of the year. New Year's Eve. So, up until 10pm tomorrow night, I have to keep blind, stinking sober. Never mind.

Apart from that, here's to the new Rhys, just in time for the new year!

Keep the faith


Game of the year?
The First Annual TAOR Awards....
Yes, it's time for my awards for 2002. None of these matter, and nobody cares about them, but it's my way of paying tribute to those who made this year what it is for me. Much deliberating (ie. sticking pieces of paper with the nominiees names' on them onto a dartboard, and throwing darts at it) is occuring as we speak, but here is a run down of the catagories.

Cool new person of the year?
Man/Woman of the Year
A famous person that you will all know, this person has made a huge impact on the year, be it politically (although not likely) or artistically. It could be anybody from George W. Bush (although, as I said, not likely), to Ozzy Osbourne.

Saint of the year
A personal catagory, a person that has helped me personally through the year, no matter what.

Woman of the year?
Sinner of the year
Another personal catagory, directly opposite of above. A person who I feel over the last 12 months has been a pain, or hurtful, or just been a twat.

Cool new person of the year
Another personal catagory. People who I have met, and immediately settled with. People who have been cool to me, that I didn't know this time last year.

Man of the year?
Website/TV Series/Album/Video Game of the year
These are all seperate catagories, where I say which of the following pieces of mass media were my personal favourites.

The awards are still being deliberated, and the results will be up sometime soon, be it later today, early tomorrow, or early in the new year, it just depends of when I can be arsed.

Keep the faith


Sunday, December 29, 2002

Cheap as chips!
Going for a song
Boxing Days begins one of the greatest British institutions, the January Sales. For me, I'm not a shopaholic. I hate clothes shopping especially. I don't mind videos, games or CD's. Just clothes shopping. So, today we went to Chester, to check out their sales.

I'm not the one who clambers on the door 9am boxing day for a bargain. I'm quite reserved. I usually pick up one thing I want. Today I picked up three. Quake 2 for £2.49, Marvel Versus Capcom 2 for £11.99 and Dido's "No Angel" for £5.99. These, in my eyes, are bargains that even the student king of the world David Dickinson would be proud of. I would talk about each one in length, but there's only one that I'm going to concentrate on.

I love Quake, it's great. I bought the first one about a year after it came out, and the third one on the day of release. However, I haven't seen the second installment of the trilogy out as much. For £2.49, I couldn't go wrong.

No seriously, I couldn't

The only slight problem that the MSN Gaming Zone (in my opinion, the best place to play Quake 2 online) is half full of some of the most insolent, egotistical bastards the world has ever seen. There's not a lot of respect for people who are on 56K, and they sure make life a semi-living hell.

It really is such a shame that I own them all...

Keep the faith


Friday, December 27, 2002

What greets you at the beginning....
T'is Hip to be Square
Sometimess, you don't know when to stop. I cannot say anything is finished. I am a perfectionist. Everything must be perfect, or else it's crap. One such instance happenned today.

As you notice a bit further down this page, there are 9 games that I've created. Each of varying size, quality and addictiveness. Hey, I admit it, some of those are piss poor, some are great. One of my personal favourite is "The Square Game". The reason being it my biggest and most worked on game I made. When 3rd May 2002 came, I was happy. Why? It was finished. I wasn't working on it anymore.

Or so I thought.

As a game designer, you need patience. Not only in the design process, but also in the aftermath. Recently, I have been getting e-mails and instant messages from people who say "it's excellent, but.....". Of course, me having a little time of my hands, and take every form of criticism literally, meant that I reopened the source code for The Square Game, and added a few bits to it.

So? What have I done? Well, here's the list.

  • Added a new scoring system that takes into account time and level.
  • Included better documentation of the level editor and pack creator.
  • Included source code of the level editor and pack creator, in Blitz Basic format.
  • And that's it! I've deleted the source now.

    Download: Click on the link half way down this page or click here.

    In other News
    Tonight is the "Now not so final" gig of Panacea. I misunderstood, whilst Simon (drums) and Neil (bass) are leaving, Tom (vocals), Mark (lead guitar) and Sibley (rhythm guitar) are staying, Although only accoustic sets from now on. Marine Hotel, 8:30pm, £2 on the door. Be there! (photos up soon)

    Also, My ancient games aren't the only thing that I have been busy updating. The site has a few new features.

    Firstly, linked to the above, there is below the game list is the 'Addon' list. This currently features only three level packs. Sibzpack, Tribute and MPLevels . I still welcome packs for The Square Game, so if you have any (all the tools needed to make them are included in the download), send them to me. Ta.

    Secondly, I have now two ways for keeping in touch, by subscribing to this site! This come in two forms. The geeky and not so geeky way.

  • The Not So Geeky Way: This is simply filling in your e-mail address and we'll send out (periodically) e-mails. The e-mails contain the beginning of all the stories posted since the last news, and a link to the story. You can read this at your leisure.

  • ?????
    The Geeky Way: This way is new to me. Apparently it's "The Net's Next Big Thing", and I want in on the ground level, even if I don't understand it. Basically, I have this thing called an RSS feed, which I have no idea what it is, just that you can use some sort of special software to subscribe to it. To do so, click on the "XML" button underneath the e-mail subscription. Basically, if you've subscribe to one before, you will use it. If you don't, don't bother. Use the e-mail subscription button instead. However, I've looked at a demo of the RSS feed, and it's slightly ugly (they don't convert tables), so it's a little bit of a mess.
  • So there goes my perfectionist attitude.

    Keep the faith


    Thursday, December 26, 2002

    The Other Side
    Hello! I'm back after our Christmas break. So, you are all probably wondering how it went for me? No? Well, I'm going to tell you anyway!

    It began at about 11am, waking up and opening all my presents, where one of the presents I got were socks. Uh oh, socks. Whist I appreciate every single present I get, socks got me worried. It's everything I get my Dad every single christmas. Does that mean I'm turning old? I sincerely hope not.

    The turkey was okay, slightly underdone (hey, even the cook admitted it), so we've decided to have Christmas lunch out next year.

    I followed that by watching Goldmember. It is quite frankly one of the funniest films I have seen in a long time. It had me in stictches. Johann Van Der Smut (AKA Goldmemeber) is hilarious ("May I prezchent to ya. The very seschual, the very toit. AUSTIN POWERS' FAZCHA!"), as is the japenese twins Fook Mi and Fook Yu. Only wished they were in more of the film. Oh well.

    Oh hello, you're looking very toit.
    After that followed a massive three hour session on GTA:Vice City and Tekken 4. Now, I've let you know what I've thought of Tekken 4, it's fantastic, the dog's proverbial bollocks. However, I was so very impressed with GTA:VC. I'm not a big fan of driving games, and games like that take ages to get into. However, I was immediately taking care of interesting missions, buying property and carrying out assasinations like a seasoned pro. It's so deep and the character design is fantastic. The best bit must be the music, it's great. Bryan Adams, Spaneau Ballet and The Buggles are all in there, the list is endless. Also, the other great feature is the freedom. After you complete about 5 missions for this lawyer guy, you can do whatever you want, even go straight. Get in a taxi, or a pizza truck, even an ambluence, and you can be that kind of person. Deliver people, deliver pizzas, or take people to hospital. All is part of the thriving metropolis that is Vice City. Usually I am dissappointed by the Christmas #1's, they seem to be FIFA (which, the new version is a lot better for the pure and simple reason that Avril Lavigne sings the theme song to it) , Tomb Raider, or some form of the Sims. However, this quite rightly is Christmas #1, why? Because it's bloody fantastic.

    After that, I was thinking of blogging my day. However, as this post says on some weblog, it would appear a little sad.

    Keep the faith


    Tuesday, December 24, 2002

    T'was the night before Christmas....
    Advent Calendar Report (Last Day!): A MARS BAR!!!

    Well, short message today. It's unlikely that I'll post tomorrow, and to be honest, a lot of people don't really care. See you on t'other side.

    Have a Merry Christmas......or else.

    Keep the Festive Faith


    Monday, December 23, 2002

    I'll give you "Joy to the World"
    Ding dong're high?!?!
    Advent Calendar Report: The Big Man Himself! Next Mars Bar: Tomorrow!!!

    Advent Calendars are a good sign of Christmas, it is a little bit of harmless fun for a small amount of money, and helps builds up the tension of the festive season. However, there are some aspects of Christmas that are not fun, not wholesome and not in the spirit and not fit for human consumption.

    I'm talking about Carol Singers.

    Sure, I don't mind those who do put an effort in. I'm all for that. We used to have some of the most angelic voices singing for the RNLI round about Christmas, at which case we gave generally and rightfully deserved. However, yesterday was not the case. Below is a rough transcript of their carol.

    Ding Dong Merrily On High
    Ding Dong Merry up high
    Hosanna plays for Chelsea
    Ding Dong Merry up high
    I want some Christmas Pudding

    Afterthat followed the most high pitched drivel heard since the Spice Girls split up. After that, they sung Westlife's "Unbreakable". Excuse me? Aren't you 'Carol' singers? Where's O'Little Town of Fricking Bethlehem? Afterwards they held their hands out for 'reward'. We gave them a twix. Between them.

    Come to think of it, they were talentless nobodies who sing awfully for a little bit of money, who does that remind you of?

    Keep the faith


    Sunday, December 22, 2002

    Be there
    27th of December, 2002. A day that will go down in rock and roll history. It will be the final gig of one of the biggest, most upstart bands on the North Wales coast. The chapter will close on Panacea forever after that day, and for those of you who appreciate quality music are well advise to go and see it. Tickets £2.

    Plus you get the added attraction of seeing me take photos!


    In other News

    Oh dear god no....
    Work began today (inbetween two 3 hour Smackdown: SYM sessions) on my Christmas Present to the worldTM! For those of you who don't know what it is, every year (for the past two years), I try and create something to give to the world on, or near christmas. Two years ago it was a now defunct website, last year was a not-at-all fantastic Visual Pinball table, which has seemingly dissappeared off the face of the earth. Believe me, this is a good thing. Anyway, I should get what my gift is finished just before Christmas.

    Incidentally, should someone find a copy of my Visual Pinball - Frosty The Snowman table, please let me know, as I haven't found a copy yet. Ta.

    Finally, cleaned up a few links and such. Don't I work hard for you people :).

    Keep the faith


    Go on! Spell rat-arse!
    Advent Calendar Report: A wierd thing with a stupid hat (not JK). Next Mars Bar on: Christmas Eve

    Anybody who knows absolutely anything about me, knows that I am not very sporty. I am as wide as a door as possess as much atletic ability as a door. The only sports I even came close to competitive playing was basketball, where my growth spurt occurred seemingly before I was out of nappies. This made me about 2 feet taller than everybody else. I was alright at badminton also, though not fantastic. I also got picked for the cricket team (although this was more for my 'witty' annedotes at silly mid off which put off a few of the opposite side such as: 'There is about as much tension as a very old, very wet duvet' was a personal favourite). I was generally put in the most useless positions in PE, and was last in every single race, bar none.

    I had NOTHING that I could represent the school at, and be the star. I was a nobody. There was however one thing that I was half good at, and maybe I could represent the school at it.


    Yes, Scrabble. I wasn't the best at words, but I was keen. Plus we got two whackoff big dictionaries during friendlies to help us. I personally went there without any hesitation, every week, and soon was one of the 'regulars', as opposed to the 'non-regulars', who only went to the club when it was cold and wet outside (the club was held during lunchtime), and wanted to eat in the library.

    Soon there was a tournament, comprising the six 'regulars'. Four of us in the first year, me, Sibley, Wayne and Gareth Smith. However the two favourites were this guy in the year above us (year 8) who name escapes me, and Richard. Both these guys had represented the school at the National Scrabble Tournament in London, and were odds on favourite to go there, weekend in London, photo and biography in the Young Telegraph, and all sorts of glitz and glamour associtated with everybody's favourite seven letter word game.

    Needless to say, I was first......out of the first years. This meant that I didn't qualify for the regional finals, and Richard and William (not his real name by any stretch of the imagination, but well, good enough) both got together and kicked my scrabble playing arse.

    Time passed, and my humiliating third position soon became lost in the walls of Eirias High School, along with many stories that I'm pretty sure those walls could tell. However, one thing broght my third place back to the forefront of society.

    "Errrr...Rhys, I cannot go to the regional finals in Wirral. Athletic duties."

    Brilliant! For once in my life my Athletic ability of a tuna sandwich is not going to haunt me. Sure, I wasn't the first pick, but I was the second. After speaking to Richard (who at this point assumed all control on our attempt to rock the very foundations of the Scrabble world) I was given the nod. I was on my way to the Wirral.

    I arrived at to what was literally a converted barn. There were 6 teams, to which we played three games. Don't ask me why, probably to save time. I sat down on a table with a semi-attractive girl, who was slightly younger than me. "Brilliant" I thought, "I should win this". She made the first move.


    Bugger. There goes the chances of winning. She was already some 80 points ahead. I managed to pull it back to a respectable twenty points. But I was 0 for 1. Of course, nobody told me that the rules of competitive scrabble meant that you couldn't change letters, use a dictionary, or look at the opponents letters. This put me in a huge disadvantage. Couple that with the fact that my encyclopedic knowledge of swear words seemingly only got no more than 8 points maximum, then I was doomed. Richard was doing great, he won all his game, setting the three highest scores in the process. I had a nightmare, if I had won one game, then we would of been on our way to London. Not so. We finished joint second overall, all, as the nerdy "Scrabmaster" (yes, that's what he asked to be referred to as) said once my hide was well and truly beaten to a flabby pulp "Thanks to Richard's undefeated streak".

    So, where does the world's most unlikely loser hide his Scrabble hat now? Well, I occasionally play Literati on Yahoo in a Bobby Fischer stylee. If you see my name 'rhyswynne' on your room list, drop me a line, and I'll give you a game. However, don't expect me to play fair!

    Keep the Faith


    Saturday, December 21, 2002

    Advent Calendar Report. 20th: A snowman 21st: An elf thing. Next Mars bar on: Christmas Ever

    Al's Birthday....Got PS2...Got Smackdown: Shut your Mouth......errr.......bye!

    Thursday, December 19, 2002

    Damn I'm on form
    I've just found one of this "You Know you're a [insert job/persona/animal/vegetable here] when....", for "Geeks". The sad thing is that so many apply to me. Let's have a look:-

  • "You look at a movie trailer and think, 'I have that font.'": Simpsons = Akbar.ttf
  • "You get sudden attacks of bittersweet nostalghic feelings when thinking about your long-lost old Commodore 64, Sinclair ZX-81, TRS-80 (or whatever hardware you were raised on), and use large amounts of money/time trying to track one down.": Look at the last post!
  • "You check your web access_page more than once a day.": Four times already today.
  • "You start getting paranoid you aren't getting all your e-mail.": Not now, but I used to..
  • "You spend more than 10 minutes contemplating how traffic lights work.": I was obsessed with traffic lights as a 3 year old.
  • "There's a newsgroup dedicated to you because of your netly activities.": Not me technically, but someone I know.
  • "Everyone in the neighborhood brings you (to) their computers to figure out what is wrong.": Well, university anyway. LEAVE ME ALONE!
  • "You get REALLY excited when people from countries with limited access to the 'net are frequent visitors to your pages." Hello all you from Estonia!
  • "You can count the number of moderately good hacker/computer dude type films on one hand.": I can pick so many faults in them it's unbelivable.
  • So there you have it, not totally geeky, but a little. A bit of a cheeky geeky, methinks.

    I think this'll be the last post from me today. As TV is good tonight, although not as good as last night. Oh well, only two more days and my brother gets a PS2 (his birthday). So that'll be pretty cool, as I've bought Smackdown 4: Shut Your Mouth in preperation. Soon, the Crimson Fury will be coming back to Smackdown! (or whatever crap The Rock says).

    Keep the Faith


    Perfection? I think so.
    The more I think about it, the more I think that Andy Crane didn't blow up the ST. However, it was either him or his co-presenter who did some form of mutilation to everybody's favourite 16 Bit home computer (oh come on, we all knew Commodore, and indeed video games as a whole achieved perfection in 1985, with the release of Paradroid, the Amiga sucked). I know I'll be ridiculed by anybody who knows me, but I think I may still have that episode on tape somewhere, as I went through an addiction period of taping everything, and not throwing any away. Especially Gamesmaster and Bad Influence (I think I may still have every single episode of Gamesmaster on tape. Surely that must be a record for 6 or 7 series). I may just have to look.

    Something to do when I'm very, very bored.

    In Other News
    Today I got my A-Level result Certificate! My BCD is now in permanent-if-kept-away-from-a-naked-flame form. So that was pretty smart. Had lunch in the Pen Y Bryn, and saw many of my old teachers. Besides that, I spent half the afternoon in the bookies, giving people who it's clinically dangerous to really have the flu the flu.

    In all seriousness though I think I'm over my bout of coughing and weezing. Simon offered me a ticket to see The Two Towers, which I refused because coughing can be very distracting (believe me, Rich coughed all the way through The Fellowship of the Ring, and I must of missed about half of it!). However, if it was tomorrow, I would of gone. As I still have mad coughing fits, from time to time, then my mates will come out of the cinema hating me.

    Also, as you could probably tell from my heavily copied from my old site inspired article about Lemmings, I have pretty much got over my creative rut. Oh have some mercy baby.

    Keep the faith


    Let's Go!
    Originality, a difficult thing to talk about. Original games were the norm of some of the earlier computers, like the Spectrum and the C64, with bedroom coders making original games to sell for next to nothing. However, with the coming of the consoles, this almost died out, where the consoles prefered tried and tested formulas, like in the movies, forsaking good original games. However, there are good games around that are not original (Half-Life), and fairly original games that are crap (Lula - The Sexy Empire, incidentally the Atari ST's last game). But for a combination of both, it is something special.

    Responsible for loss of sanity, loss of hair, loss of sleep.
    This is where Lemmings comes in. Psygnosis released Lemmings in 1990, and was a totally original game. At the time (late 80's), every single puzzle games were rip offs of Tetris. Klax, Colums, Rainbow. All were rip offs. In Lemmings you had to guide an army of green haired rodents from a trap door to an exit on the other side of the course, usually over fire pits, bottomless pits, flamethrowers, deep waters, spike pits, inflators, whirling blades, slingshots, nooses, crushers, long drops and a variety of other traps.

    C'mon chaps, it's pointing the way!!
    However, the Lemmings weren't completely useless, you could assign them one of eight 'tasks', these skills assigned to individual Lemmings, would mean that the Lemming can do a job for a temporary time, for the benefit of the rest of the tribe of Lemmings. The skills involved climbing (where a lemming ascends up a vertical wall in order to continue the level), floater (where a lemming is given an umbrella to float down to the floor Mary Poppins stylee), blocker (where a lemmings acts like a stop sign, to stop everything from getting directly passed it), bomber (where a lemming acts as a suicide bomber in order to get through small passages or to destroy a blocker, so lemmings can pass), builder (where a lemming builds a diagonally upwards path in order to pass gaps) and basher, miner and digger (where the lemming digs a passage sideways, diagonally down and vertically respectively). You would be given only a certain amount of each task each level, which would either be the direct amount you need or near enough. This made some of the levels devilishly hard, added to that some of the levels required pixel perfect placement of the lemmings, and you'd also might had to use tasks in a way they wouldn't normally be used (for example a miner building half a tunnel in order to act like a blocker), each one would make the learning curve steeper near the end of the game.

    When this game was released on the Amiga 500, the critics raved it, it was original, and infuriatingly addictive. Levels were cunningly designed in order to be possible, but only just. In later levels, margin of error was decreased even further. Couple that with an excellent multiplayer (which wasn't so well received, but I loved it) which involves two players with two different pairs of tribes of lemmings competing to get as many of their own lemmings plus any more to your exit. The one who has all the lemmings at the end of the game wins, which was a stroke of genius, but wasn't well received. The single player overshadowed it. This game was released on a variety of computers, but on the Amiga, Atari ST, PC and the beautiful looking Apple Macintosh version were where it was best.

    Just look at him! Pure evil!
    Whilst I still remember the first video game I ever played (Italia '90, the one in the arcades), it was Lemmings that catapulted my geekiness into astronomical levels. If it wasn't for Lemmings, I probably would be doing something like accounting or mathematics. My uncle had an Atari ST (which I later acquired as my grandad bought it off him when he got his PC), with Lemmings on it. As far as I am concerned, I never forgave Andy Crane whilst, on his time on Bad Influence, he blew up an Atari ST. I saw him once (in the Welsh Mountain Zoo), and I wanted to ask him "Why did you blow up the Atari ST?", but I didn't, because that would just be a bit pathetic, as Bad Influence rocked (hey, they also blew up "Street Fighter: The Movie", and "Rise of the Robots", so that was pretty cool).

    Now, where was I? Oh yeah, lemmings.

    Needless to say, there were copies of the format, which stifled the originality. Some of them included Krusty's Super Fun House, which was aimed more at a console, as you had to guide Krusty The Clown from The Simpsons around his house, guiding mice into a central mousetrap by using items found in the house. Also released were Troddlers, where you had to use the Troddlers themselves to act as bridges to the exit, and Sleepwalker, where you had to guide a boy who was asleep back to his bed. It wasn't long before Lemmings 2 was released, with more skills, levels and traps, it was better designed, but wasn't as successful.

    But then, how could you improve perfection?

    Keep the faith


    Incidentally, if I have lit a spark inside you for related Atari ST quality-ness. Please go to As they have all you need, plus their site looks totally boss.

    Let the Rhys FAQ Begin! Advent Calendar Report: A Shooting star....across the midnight sky (sorry). Next Mars Bar on: Christmas Eve

    We've started getting questions, so this post will be updated quite a lot.

    Sibz: "Does this thing work now?"
    Rhys: "Yes"

    So keep sending them in!

    Keep the Faith


    Wednesday, December 18, 2002

    Let's Try Again
    Advent Calendar Report: 17th: A remote controlled car, 18th: A mobile phone. Next Mars Bar on: Christmas Eve

    Sorry for all those who tried and sent me questions. Basically, the remotely hosted CGI script wasn't accepting the results of the form. So I switched to javascript, and it still didn't work. However, I've found another (unfortunately, with advertisements). However, I can live with that.

    Your full name:

    Your email address: (e.g.:

    What's Your Question

    Keep the faith


    Monday, December 16, 2002

    Needless to say, I couldn't find any pictures of shredded wheat in a thunderstorm...
    Back in fashion
    Advent Calendar Report: 14th: A Christmas Tree Scene 15th: A MARS BAR!! 16th: A remote controlled car. Next Mars Bar on: Christmas Eve!

    I hate playing catchup with my advent calendar.

    For anybody who knows me (in the flesh, although not literally) knows that I don't possess much fashion sense at all. Usually I stick to what I want to wear, as opposed to what everybody wants me to wear. So usually a few loud shirts, and jeans, and jumpers. Nothing too garish. However, one aspect of my person will never see any sort of fashion. My hair.

    To be honest, it looks like it hasn't even seen a comb for ages. It kinda looks like a shredded wheat in a thunderstorm. It's a dump. My hairdon't is famous the world over for being a mess. So, it came to my suprise that L'Oreal have released a hair care giving your hair a "Just out of Bed" look.

    HALLEJUAH!! (or however you spell it). Suddenly, my hair, may just be in fashion. Why bother with expensive gels and haircare products whereby I can just...well...get out of bed! Although the chance my hair catching on is minimalistic at best, it's the best chance ever! Incidentally, L'Oreal have gone for crap advertisment placement (the bus stop on Station Road in Colwyn Bay), as there is not a soul who regularly spends time in Colwyn Bay (ie. not working/studying there) who isn't a scruffy bastard, most with that look. Besides, they probably couldn't afford the product anyway. I mean, that's like 2 years begging's worth.

    Keep the faith


    Sunday, December 15, 2002

    Another update in the Busy World of Richard Scarry Rhys Wynne
    The last few days have been hectic once again. Meeting people I haven't seen in god long ages is tiresome. However, I'd love to say just one thing.

    I am never ever going to Broadway ever again

    Why? Because it's overpriced shite. If you read this, and you know me well and you see me pass the bouncers, then proceed to smack me until I leave. Thank you.

    Today I went to a place just outside Llandudno called Snowdonia Nursaries. Basically, it's a garden centre that struggles pretty much all year round until Christmas hits. Everybody goes there for baubels/tinsel/etc. However, looking around it, I must be getting old, as that place is begginning to lose it's charm. Where are the tacky decorations? Where are the santa's with their arses out? Where are the green snowmen (I've seen them, it's a fact). To me, these make Christmas more than the cute robins etc.

    Oh well, I'm wittering. It's only because Rick wanted something to read in Supervised study tomorrow, as he cannot be arsed doing work. The lazy bastard.

    Keep the faith


    PS: Sunderland 2, Liverpool 1 :D

    Friday, December 13, 2002

    Advent Calendar Report: 13th: An angel. Next Mars bar in 1 days)

    That's more like it!

    I'm home now for Christmas, and, after a good breakfast, I want to take on the world! In actual fact, I arrived home a day early. "Why?" Do you ask. Well, here are likely reasons, only one is true.

    1. I wanted to see my family once again.
    2. All my friends had already left, leaving me on my own, all alone.
    3. I had bought this months PCZone, with a copy of Natural Selection on the cover disc, and I wanted to play this. what.

    So, after nearly a week of waiting, what do I think of it? Well, in a current sweeping the internet fashion. I will use a similarly named alternative. (Credit to Roland for the idea).

    Natural Selection (Half-Life Mod) vs. Natural Selection (The real thing)
    By Rhys Wynne 1st Year BSc, (Credit to Roland)

    Mod: It looks the part, the graphics work well in creating atmosphere. The aliens are truly scary (especially that wierd thing on the title screen) and it's all the technical machinery looks fantastic. 10/10
    Real Thing: Sure, you get puppies and kittens that make you go aww. But for every puppy there are a thousand snails, and for every kitten there are millions of bacteria. Hippo's are just plain ugly also. 3/10

    Mod: Currently, there are some speed issues. FPS on dialup can be really slow on some servers, plus there are some issues with sound. However, those bugs will hopefully be quashed. 5/10
    Real Thing: Pick up any biology book. Go to dinosaurs. That was millions of years ago. Look around you now. Everything has changed. That's taken a few million years. I rest my case. 3/10

    Ease of Use + Application
    Mod: It's very forgiving for people who aren't sure what you are doing. The Heads Up Display gives pointers onto what each item does. Also, should you cock up you 'respawn'. This allows for new/drunk/coked up people to get into the experience. Although the only damage would be done would be the humiliation of the said individual where larger, more signifigent beings laugh at your 'n00b' skills. 7/10
    Real Thing: Very, very unforgiving. No respawn feature. No help on anything (except on the back of IKEA flat packs, but even then, that's minimal), you just appear and expect to live your life. Constant barrarge of Lions/Tigers/Seagulls make it very unfriendly, and a unfunny fight to survive. 2/10

    Mod: Unproven yet, but it will be, soon. 8/10
    Real Thing: Peaked a long time ago for Mr. Darwin, who put forward this idea. As further MTV generations appear, will get less and less. 6/10

    Mod: 30/40
    Real Thing: 14/40
    The Winner, The Mod!. I conclude that Darwin's Natural Selection is now no longer the dominant species. There's a new boy in town, and he's taking over!

    Please, let her be #1 at Christmas...
    In other News
    Some guy's proposed plan to take back the music charts is now fallen on deaf ears on this site. This is due to that myself learning that Sk8er Boi by Avril Lavigne is out the same day. May I wish that the campaign the best of luck, as I don't care who gets Crimbo #1, as long as it's not Popstars. But I'd love it if Avril gets #1.

    Keep the Faith


    Thursday, December 12, 2002

    Advent Calendar Report: 12th: A football. Next Mars bar in 2 days)

    Okay, that's just plain wierd.

    I missed breakfast today, and god only knows why. I had absolutely no reason to miss it. I got to bed early, set my alarm, had a nap yesterday, and drank nothing. Today I'm feeling very lethargic, and not well at all.

    Keep the faith

    A very creatively blocked, lethargic Rhys

    Wednesday, December 11, 2002

    You're gonna have to face it....
    Advent Calendar Report: 11th: An alien, with a santa's hat on. Next Mars bar in 3 days)

    What is with my advent calendar and aliens? I've had two already?

    Keep the faith

    A very creatively blocked Rhys

    Tuesday, December 10, 2002

    Fight the good fight
    Well, he puts a better case than the bleeding Popstars....










    I was planning to buy it anyway, tis a bloody good song....

    Keep the faith


    So listen to the radio
    Q)Who is the odd one out out of the following

    1. Chris Moyles
    2. Tom Williams
    3. Me
    4. Alan Partridge
    5. Howard Stern
    A) Me. All the above have a radio show. I have a radio station. Admittedly, it's only across the internet (pretty much everybody has one), and it's available only on Yahoo, and you don't get to hear the dulcet tones of yours truly, but it's plays some quality tunes (if you like Feeder, Oasis, Creed, JJ72 et al). I'm not sure what pops up, but, by god, it's going to be good!

    To listen to it, click on this link.

    Keep the faith


    Catching Up
    Advent Calendar Report: 6th: A stocking, 7th: A teddy bear, 8th: A Christmas Pudding, 9th: A robin, 10th: Mistletoe. Next Mars bar in 4 days)

    Today I played catch up with my Advent Calendar. I managed to eat 4 chocolates, and only when you do so in quick succession do you realise that advent calendar chocolate is rubbish. Oh well, beats the taste of D+R's Peppered Steak, doesn't it?

    I am back in Liverpool after (another) weekend at home, and I come back to a minor crisis. There is no heating to our blocks. Normally, this wouldn't be too much of a problem. However, due to it being mid December, and my block having the heat retention of an ice cube, it's absolutely freezing in here.

    I also bought a quality new games mag. gamestm is a new multiformat magazine, very similar (in writing) to Edge. However, it has an abundance of retro news, which is great. So many articles make you look up and say "ahh", reminiscent of the early 90's, late 80's (the look at the old magazines as well, such as ZZap 64). There are a few things which I didn't like. Well, not didn't like, just sorta clashed with the beliefs of yours truly.

    Leave the poor guy alone, what's he ever done to hurt you?!
    First was the almost hatred levels for Western platformers, such as James Pond and Zool, and also for Western beat-em-ups, like Body Blows and Rise of the Robots. While some of it is true (I bought Rise of the Robots for about 49p, and it was the worst desicion I have ever made), Zool and James Pond are cult-like classics to many people, including myself. Sure, they aren't upto the genius of Mario, or the uber-cool levels of Sonic, but they are good games in themselves, and should be treated the same way as Danger Mouse is for kids TV.

    The other thing was them saying about people who buy T-Shirts with the "Atari" logo on it, and how they are not true retro fans. Bearing in mind I bought this magazine exactly 5 minutes after buying an Atari shirt, then I wasn't too best pleased.

    However, all in all, a good read.

    Keep the Faith


    Monday, December 09, 2002

    Pun Work
    I am linking this post to Blogging A Dead Horse. Not because of design or content, but purely for the quality title. Tip top tastical testicales punnage!

    Keep the faith


    You aren't supposed to like this site...
    Why the hell am I so popular (said with no arrogence, but probably someone will say I am, ah fuck them).

    Okay, we're now into bandwidth purchasing country now...

    No I haven't paid/given sexual favours/opened up multiple instances/hacked into numerous web servers etc. I hope it stops soon, as I cannot be arsed purchasing any more bandwidth!

    Keep the faith


    Oooh hooo that's Magic!
    As far as I'm concerned, as a lowly Colwyn Bay and not-so-lowly Manchester United supporter. The greatest club competition in Europe is without a shadow of doubt the FA Cup. A competition that has seen a turbulent last few years, but in my heart it's the best. I have been at Llanelian Road during competition, and needless to say we don't always do well. However, we sometimes reach the first, or even the second, round proper. At which point, unlike other non-league clubs, we get snubbed by the BBC (the worst was second round against Fulham, where Steve Rider called us "Culwyn Bay". Bleedin' Southern Fairy!).

    I'm invincible!
    However, I'm not here to complain about BBC front men. As a only basic Sky package holder, I don't see too much football. Sure there's the premiership on ITV, and Champions League. However, nothing tops than seeing Oxford vs. Swindon in the FA Cup. Two teams close to each other going at it for a chance to play some quality opposition. After watching the match yesterday, I noticed two things:-
    1. One of their players had probably the Coolest Name in the History of the World EverTM, "Danny Invincible". Oh my god, what a name! If I ever get bored as Rhys Wynne, I think I'm going to have to have my second name as Invincible. Why? Because it's cool. As far as I'm concerned, it blows the previous Coolest Name in the History of the World EverTM winner, "Vincent Blood" from the Razer Robot Wars team completely out of the water.
    2. Half way the after-match analysis, they went to the draw for the FA Cup Third Round. At this point, all lower division teams hope they get a lucrative tie against some huge opposition, after all, this is when the big boys enter the game. Oxford United (who won the game) got one of the biggest, current FA Cup and Premier League champions, Arsenal. If it was about the football, Oxford probably would shite it loads. However, as it's about the money, they love it. One guy in particular. This guy with nothing but a towel across his nether-regions, jumped around like flubber when he heard the news, exposing his bare arse to all who were watching. At this point, I was eating my traditional Sunday Roast, and I really had trouble eating my bit of Pork. I'm not sure what part of the body pork comes from, but I hope it's not the rump.

    Finally, the Know My Brother Project is expanding! We now have our third supportee. It is Arkestra. He also wrote something nice about the project.

    "About a year ago did I entered my name on various search engines in the hope of finding other Peter Murdie's in the world like what Dave Gorman did a few years ago. I was really disheartened to find first of all the lack of Peter Murdie's on the internet as well as no appearance of myself in the results. However thanks to Arkestra and Goggle I come top now (despite the still low number of Peter Murdie's). But spare a thought for others who have no presence. Like Richard Wynne, brother of Rhys Wynne."
    Thank you Arkestra. May God Bless You. You have made Richard very happy.

    If you haven't joined, then why not? Look here for information.

    Keep the faith


    Sunday, December 08, 2002

    Must to the dissappointment of Roland and Jacob, after 10 hours of (almost) continual download, it turns out that my Natural Selection download was corrupted almost from the outset. Now...altogether now.......SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTT!!!

    To comfort this I carried out some retail therapy. I bought the new Smackdown game for the PS2, on the strength of the previous ones. I haven't played it yet, cos I haven't got access to a PS2 yet.

    Keep the Faith


    And it was like...woaah!
    One thing that suprises me about the university is the difference between the third years and the freshers.

    Generally there aren't much differences at all, we both go out, get drunk, come back at some ungodly hour and wake up a 9 o'clock for lectures. However, there are little things that puzzle yours truly.

    The first thing is, and the most troubling is hair. When Freshers arrive. They are generally clean cut and very little undergrowth stubble. Whether it's through the dirt cheap Gilette Mach 3 in the Guild or through lack of development in the neather-regions, it's not for me to discuss. However chin here is not present. The second year is very much the same, with a few people starting growing goatees or moustaches that give any 1970's porn star a good run for it's money.

    However, come the third year, and chin hair is uber-present. Not just goatees, but 1970's Jobs + Wozniak style beards, and that's just the women. Nowhere, nowhere in the prospectus did it say the following:-

    Requirements for ANY course:-
  • 3 A Level's at BCC standard/BTEC/GNVQ/Beard
  • Maybe I'm just being predantic.

    However, all you crazy, crazy, insane, Grade A Asylum material who are fretting over that yours truly disposing of his razor. I must comfort. There's always a break to the system, and I hope that it's me. Besides, a few days during university I haven't been arsed shaving. I find that it's very uncomfortable.

    Now where's my tweed jacket?

    Keep the faith


    Saturday, December 07, 2002

    Was this really me?
    Seems like everybody is getting in the Christmas spirit now. Sure, it's nearly here and such, and we all can just feel it. I am in the Christmas spirit now. Hell, I've been in it since mid October. Anyway, sorry you cannot tell from the site. I just cannot be arsed decorating all those characters with Santa's hats, or snow. Sorry to be a scrooge......

    I have been a scrooge before. 1995, Pen-Y-Bryn Pantomime, but that's another story for another time.

    I am currently downloading Natural Selection Half Life Mod, admittedly only on the good word of Roland, as he came up trumps on this w.bloggar thing, so I'm spending my weekend getting that. Oh the joys of 56k dialup. It's utter bliss! Aparently it's a little like Alien vs. Predator, which is a game I have yet to play, but it looks totally boss (running around with a gun to protect you appeals me). Only about 4 hours of solid downloading time to go!,

    Whether it'll beat the mighty TFC or Counter Strike is another matter.

    Speaking of TFC, I played it for the first time in nearly a year yesterday. For those of you who didn't know, I used to be in a clan about this time last year called =FP=, which were actually pretty nifty. It was both a curse and a blessing. They were 21st in the UK, so they were pretty serious about playing, so you always got practice. However, I was nowhere near their calibre of playing. And when you are playing as a very unforgiving class, the spy, you generally just got slaughtered. I generally averaged under 10 kills per game, where in OP (open play: where anybody can join) I would get closer to 100. Although I had lost most of the touch, I still managed about 30 kills. I was sort of like the Phil Neville of the TFC UK league. I was good, yet everybody saw me as being crap. I eventually left to join another clan, and quit altogether about this time last year, when I started programming. I hope you enjoyed that history lesson!

    Keep the faith


    Nice to see a someone else has taste.

    Keep the faith


    Friday, December 06, 2002

    No advent calender report today....I forgot to have my chocolate before coming home. I can tell you that Alex (the person who lives opposite me) I think had a Bounty in his Celabrations today. The advent calender report will return Monday.

    This post was created by w.bloggar.

    Keep the faith


    Thursday, December 05, 2002

    What is this? Mastermind?
    A few dilemmas for you, which I am currently experiencing at the moment (least important last).

    1. Tomorrow, I am heading home for the weekend to drop off some more stuff back in my house (only 1 week to go!). For this, I need a suitcase, and it is packed to the brim. I cannot fit any more articles of clothing, or any property of mine. Including my Mars advent calender. The question is this. Should I eat the chocolates for Saturday 7th and Sunday 8th tomorrow, or should I wait for Monday?
    2. Some girl (who will not be named, for the pure and simple reason that she doesn't know about my blog, yet), who is fairly attractive and also someone I get on with commented yesterday that yours truly is "Very attractive, in a non-sexy kind of way". Now, another dilemma, should I take this comment as a compliment or not?
    3. And should I ask the said girl out?

    There you go, think about that for a while (or not, it's entirely upto you).

    In other News
    Nearly one week to go until 3 weeks off! Yes, soon I will be heading home for three worthwile weeks. I cannot wait. I cannot wait because I don't have to get up on the Monday morning at 6am, I don't have to eat crap. However, the one thing I am looking forward to most, besides the festive season sandwiched in the second week, is that there are a small group of friends that I haven't seen in ages.

    Don't get me wrong. I enjoy seeing all of my friends. However, some I haven't seen since I have been gone. Although this post will probably go into the "Lame as we know how crappily Rhys expresses his feelings" catagory I really don't care, as it is those group of friends who I am so still so very much close to, who will make my Christmas holiday fantastic.

    Also, I'd like to continue Intruder Alert 2, as the competition's deadline has been extended. Nothing major, just a bit of tarting up here and there. Also, I'd love to start a little project, nothing on the scale of The Square Game, but something pretty smart. Also, I'll be adding more to the layout of this very site, make it even more sexy than it's author (although, that's really not saying much at all).

    Speaking about the site being updated, I've changed the archives back to weekly, as only the first week of September's archive is screwed. Everything else is fine and dandy. Just thought you'd like to know that. Now don't say I do things behind your back.

    Keep the Faith


    What is the world coming to?
    Seems like everybody has a blog these days.


    Moment's before thy flesh consumed......

    Knee Deep in the Dead
    (Advent Calendar Report: A MARS BAR!!, with a picture of an alien holding presents (I kid ye not!). Next mars bar in 1 Week, 2 Days)

    For those of you who know exactly where that title came from, please skip the next few paragraphs.

    For those of you who don't, it refers to a 1993 computer game, Doom. Doom is one of the greatest games ever made. It was one of the first proper "First Person Perspective" games (whereby you look through the eyes of the guy), and made by IDSoftware. ID previously made Wolfenstein, a similar game which sparked more controversy than acclaim due to it being set in a German Prisoner of War camp (nowadays WWII games are pretty commonplace. But in those days, depicting Hitler in a computer game is a serious no-no). Doom however was even more violent, even more bloody, and even more scary. Did this game fail?

    Did it fuck.

    RUN AWAY!!!

    Doom was released first as Shareware. ID took a huge gamble as they gave away 1/3 of the game, fully operational, and it took the (beginning to expand) internet by storm. People from all over the world lapped it up, bringing office and university networks (including, from what I've heard, our very own) to a standstill with big kids playing the newest form of competitive violence, the "Deathmatch". Doom was eventually released in the shops, and with that, Doom 2, Final Doom, Ultimate Doom, the spinoff Quake, Return to Castle Wolfenstien, and the soon to be released simultaneously-piss-and-dump-your-pants scary Doom 3, sealed Messers Cormack and Romero in the computer gaming legendary, as they have created a bomb we are still experiencing today.

    All those people who knew what Doom was, the education is over.

    I had experienced "Deathmatches" in various forms. In Half Life, Quake, and Unreal Tournament. While bloody good fun, I felt that it was all a bit slow, with people on the elitist faster connections getting better scores than us dialup boys. Even when I was owning a game on UT, I had been asked to leave because my 56k was "Slowing the server". Hey, if you are reading this [RAC]Britboy, you can kiss my ass! Doom looked like a perfect alternative, but where to get it. That was answered on some dodgy Russian site, which I will NOT link to. When downloaded, I found that Doom was network only, not modem. So what did I do? I got my old school's network, three mates, and a lunch hour. Somehow, by fragging (the only unit of currency that matters in Doom, for it is kills) people sitting in the same room, and hearing "Rhys, you are a fucking twat!" is incredibly satisifying. However, we were soon found out (as we made the mistake of telling the whole of the sixth form, and Doom spread around the school like wildfire) and while not officially punished, the school blocked all traces of Doom, including any file names.

    Come on then! Ya big yellow bellied bastard! I'll take you both on!

    So why am I sharing this story? Well, today I found out that, with a modem cable, we can play computer games over the internal phone line here at university (even if we are not allowed, most the guys have computers on this floor so we can just connect them up with a hub and cable). One problem is that the only game we can physically play (my computer in my room is slower than a paraplegic tortoise), Doom, is nowhere to be found in Liverpool. However, this will be rectified, as I'm buying it off eBay (if that isn't a plug, then I don't know what is...).

    Keep the faith


    Wednesday, December 04, 2002

    Finger Licking Belivability
    Now, I usually don't complain about service. However, today in KFC was so unbelivable I cannot comprehend the stupidity of some people.

    I got served what I asked for (two pieces regular chicken, fries, pepsi and corn cobette), however it came to £3.86, I got £1.10 change with the clerk saying "Oh sorry, we haven't got any 2p's".

    First I was cool. After all, it was only 4p. Secondly I almost blew my gasket, I am a bloody student, I cannot to throw money away! Jeez, only needed another 96p, and I could get myself a beer.

    Finally, I was confused. Last time I checked, there was a smaller denomination in circulation today. A 1p. Surely, if there was no 2p's, then four 1p's would do.

    Oh well, that's why she was at KFC, and I'm at university (although so is probably she, some of my friends work at Maccy D's at their respective universities....but that's beside the point!)

    Keep the faith


    Just a quickie today
    (Advent Calendar Report: A sleigh shaped chocolate Next mars bar in 1 Day)

    Tuesday, December 03, 2002

    I couldn't find any pics. This is the closest I got....

    Are you a Gladiator?
    Earlier on today, I watched "Gladiators: The Ultimate Challenge: Season 4" on DVD today. To be perfectly honest, I wasn't planning on watching it, but when you've got very little to do, you start running out of things to do (even Championship Manager is getting slightly repetitive in season 2040, where Michael Owen has just retired as manager of Juventus).

    For those of you who think "Hmm...Gladiator. Isn't it that flick with the Aussie Crybaby in it?" I say "Yes". However, it was also a television show aired on these 'ere shores in the mid 90's, with some success. It features two contestants battling each other over a series of 7 rounds, of physical challenges. Some of them were good (Duel: Where they literrally tried to knock each other off of a 10 ft high platform), some were crap (A wierd one when they just ran around in circles, trying to force each other off of a marked area of the floor). In any rate, the focal point of the show was not the contestants, but the lycra clad "Gladiators". These were about 20 atheletes (10 men, 10 women) who (especially the men) were the worst case of steroid overdose since bodybuilding went off Channel 4 in 1988. They were terrible. Also, none of them were two bright. Here was a sample conversation from the series, featuring the contestant and a gladiator named "Hunter", a blonde haired ponce.

    "Yeah, it was a good duel, he did well, but I remained focussed, thought about it all the way through, stuck to my game plan. And The Hunter stayed on top."

    What the hell!?!

    There were two exceptions to the rule. Wolf and Cobra. Wolf was the show's bad boy, and was also in his 40s. He was violent, he treated the contestants like shit, and I loved it. Not quite sure if it was a set, but he made this impressionable 12 year old believe it was.

    Again, no pics of the said Gladiator...

    Cobra however was so unlike any of the others. This guy was pretty much crap at all the physical events, the weak link in the Gladiator chain, so to speak. He was especially crap at all fighting ones, and seemed to get put in these quite a lot. Also, unlike the other Gladiators, he was funny. He knew when he did shit, and wasn't afraid to make a joke about it, and not pass it off for some feeble excuse. He was the only Gladiator that I wanted to win, as I could imagine his win speech being hilarious. He wasn't cocky, he wasn't even confident. He was however somewhat of a role model for myself (only in the show mind, not in real life), as I freely admit that I am physically inept (only physically mind. Academically and socially? Well, I'm King of the World) and make jokes about it myself. Cobra was a slightly less intelligent, better paid, lycra wearing, more muscular version of yours truly.

    The contestants were boring, with a few exceptions. Eunace (I think I got the spelling right), who was a loud brash scouser who won one series. Phil who was a kickboxer. Some guy who I cannot remember but he was dark and was blisteringly fast. And Wesley 'Two Scoops' Berry, who could literally jump over anything, cars, walls, barriers, you name it, he cleared it.

    The other thing that Gladiators produced were about 20 bonafide celebrities. These guys were the Big Brother contestants of their day as far as fame goes. As I live near Rhyl however, we were sure to get a Gladiator in some way, shape or form at our pantomime. We still do. Usually we get the lesser well known ones (as if there are more well known ones), and half of them I cannot remember to save my life (who the bleeding hell was Gold?!?!).

    We also had Warrior, a huge beast of a Gladiator, at our local fireworks display. However, just because he showed up, the ticket price went to £40. Bloody rediculous, and we still saw the fireworks from outside. Looks like you shot yourself in the foot there Colwyn Borough Council!

    Keep the faith


    Built in Functions
    (Advent Calendar Report: Reindeer shaped chocolate.Next Mars Bar in: 2 Days)

    This is another one of those "Rhys' Thesis" moments. If you found the first one interesting please continue reading, if not, well, still continue reading. It's about a theory I thought of yesterday.

    Evidence of An Advanced Bodily Clock
    By Rhys Wynne, first year BSc, CEng (I think)

    A number of people have put forward cases of the existance of a human internal 'clock', as basic functions occur as a result ie. hunger, sleep, thirst etc. However, can they be linked to more advanced emotions, and, can they be controlled?

    The reason I think that the body 'clock' can be controlled occured yesterday. I had a mid afternoon nap starting at 3 o'clock. I wasn't tired, and I had just had lunch. There were no forms of noises that could of awoke me, only the road outside.

    I slept for one hour and fifty minutes, and awoke at 4:50. Normally at this time, me and the "F Block Posse" usually head for tea. There was no way I awoke due to noise, as it was deadly quiet. I was not hungry. Could it be of habit?

    The only arguement against it was that I wasn't tired. After the usual bewilderment of being awoken from a fairly deep sleep, I was wide awake, and probably until 2am tomorrow morning.

    However, I doubt very much the existance of a short-term bodily clock, as I was planning to do work last Thursday afternoon, I fell asleep at around 2pm and didn't wake up until tea, where it was too late for me to work.

    I'm not sure about anybody else, but I found that wierd.

    In other news
    Last night was a bit of a bender at Double Vision in The Guild. I'm writing this with a monsterous hangover, and a sickly taste in my mouth. I cannot remember how much I drank, but, it was a lot. The worst thing is that it was world's AIDS day, or something like that. In any rate they were giving away free condoms, and I got more than my fair share. Wishful thinking? I think so. Also, there was a competition to see how quick you could put one of the said articles on (on a plastic stick like thing, mind) and my time was aout 27 seconds, which meant I won a free bottle of body paint. A lot can be said for beginner's luck, can't it? What the hell am I going to do with the body paint? Hell, I don't know. Knowing me, and the distinct lack of food in my room (except for my advent calender), I think I'll head off to Asda to buy a loaf of bread, and make a round of toast for everyone. Lovely!

    However, by far the worst thing about World's AIDS Day was that they were also taking pictures of the 'winners' for our local student paper. The Liverpool Student. So, pick up a copy and you'll see a story about AIDS, and a big fat, pissed guy holding up condoms and a bottle of mint chocolate body paint, with a very attractive blonde (who said to me after that she got a time of 3 seconds, with her mouth) next to him. Not sure when the next edition comes out. Rhys' hope: Never.

    Keep the faith.


    Monday, December 02, 2002

    Don't count your chickens

    Game Result I predicted Pass/Fail
    Arsenal vs. Villa Arsenal win Arsenal Win Pass
    Chelsea vs. Sunderland Chelsea win Chelsea Win Pass
    Forest vs. Ipswich Forest win Forest Win Pass
    Rushden vs. Bristol R. Rushden win Rushden Win Pass
    Rangers vs. Hearts Unknown Rangers Win Pass
    Celtic vs. M/Well Celtic Win Celtic Win Pass
    Newcastle vs. Everton Newcastle Win Everton Win Fail

    Never rated him as a player anyway

    BASTARD!!! 85 minutes they were winning. Eighty flicking fifth minute, and it all went tits up. Who should I blame. Craig flicking Bellamy. How dare he not help his fellow countryman win a bit of money by scoring late on. Of course, that old has been also scored, but I'm pissed off with Bellamy! His goalscoring shenanegans costed me dearly this week. If my mother has to make do with cheap + nasty perfume this Christmas, instead of expensive + nasty perfume (but she likes it), and, in a fit of rage, my mum somehow breaks Craig Bellamy leg, puts him out of action for a long time, and Wales don't qualify for the European Championships in Portugal well, he has only himself to blame.

    Okay, that's pushing it.

    Oh well, keep the faith


    While I remember
    (Advent Calendar Report: A cracker shaped chocolate. Next mars bar in 3 Days)


    Sunday, December 01, 2002

    Money In the Bank
    (Advent Calendar Report: A wreath shaped chocolate. Next mars bar in 4 Days)

    Now, I'm not a betting man much. Usually I waste my money on alcohol and video games. However, I'm not adverse to putting a few pennies in a fruit machine. However, nothing more than that. Until this weekend. I put an accumulator (you bet on a number of results, and depending on how many you get, you get that much money) on the football. Here were my bets.

    Game Result I predicted Pass/Fail
    Arsenal vs. Villa Arsenal win Arsenal Win Pass
    Chelsea vs. Sunderland Chelsea win Chelsea Win Pass
    Forest vs. Ipswich Forest win Forest Win Pass
    Rushden vs. Bristol R. Rushden win Rushden Win Pass
    Rangers vs. Hearts Unknown Rangers Win Unknown
    Celtic vs. M/Well Unknown Celtic Win Unknown
    Newcastle vs. Everton Unknown Everton Win Unknown

    So if you are a Rangers, Celtic and (especially) Everton fan. Please pray for your team to win.

    Much appreciated

    Keep the faith


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