The Art of Rhysisms

Rhysisms [Reece Is-ums]: Stupid, no meaning sentances. Created by Rhys Wynne [Reece Win] for his blog, The Art of Rhysisms. [more..]

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Member of the New World Whore-der in the Liverpool University Ten Pin Bowling Club.

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Designed on a computer with IE5.5, with resolution 1024x768 16 Bit colour. But it should degenerate okay. If you're lucky. With the wind behind you.
Wednesday, June 12, 2002

Don't Cry for me Argentina  

After a particualrly shite day once again, I have jack shit to write about, so here's something I found surfing the net.

30 Questions Ask Jeeves donesn't know the answer to...  
01 What's the point? 
02 Where does the time go? 
03 Could you lay out my morning suit and tell my aunts Betty and Jemimah that I will join them in the drawing room? 
04 Are you going out dressed like that? 
05 Whatever happened to the Likely Lads? 
06 Know what I mean? 
07 What number am I thinking of? 
08 Are we there yet? 
09 You gotta smoke lach? 
10 Where did I leave my car keys? 
11 Isn't she lovely? 
12 Does my bum look big in this? 
13 WTF? 
14 What is the melting point of people? 
15 You wanna piece of me? 
16 Can you tell what it is yet? 
17 Wazzzzzzzzzzzzuppppppppppppppppppppp? 
18 Why do birds...suddenly appear...everytime... you are near? 
19 You startin'? 
20 What's the meaning of life? 
21 How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? 
22 Whatever happened to white dog turds? 
23 I'm in the bath - can you get the door for me? 
24 Are we there yet? 
25 What are you like? 
26 Who ate all the pies? 
27 How can you sleep at night? 
28 Whatchoo talkin'bout Jeeves? 
29 Is there chicken in chickpeas? 
30 You wouldn't would you?
Okay, I've run out of things to say, except for COME ON THE ENGLISH! Yes I've changed my loyalties, and positively screamed when the dirty Argentine poofs were eliminated from the world cup. IMOHO the world cup is better off without them, as they were arrogent, and they ended up losing. Big ups to the Swedes for eliminating them from the competition now Ljungberg may grace the World Cup. Should be interesting to see what happens now, as the two pre tourney favourites are out. Should now be Brazil, Italy or the Spanish who should take it. But this is the year of the underdog, and I wouldn't be suprised if one of the hosts, England, Portugese or even the Mexicans take it. By the way a good site to go to for some World Cup action is :)  

Finally, I do believe that the front page is now boring, now that Carmen Electra has been removed from it, I hope to change that now. Isn't she lovely? I think so.... 

C'yall l8r 


Tuesday, June 11, 2002

I love my Blog! One of the best things about having a blog is the amount of crap you can put on it, compared with a normal site. I just took an enneagram test (whatever they are), below are the results...

take free enneagram test
Also, should you so desire, you can see if you are compatible with me. By clicking this line.
C'ya around! Rhys

That Jimmy heard the day he caught the train, ho ho la la.
I know it isn't THE royal train, but that's all I could be arsed to find Well, as I might of hinted over the last week, today was the day that ol' Queenie came to town. I've hinted that I might of seen her in Eirias Park. However, I didn't. Instead we saw the Royal Train in the most Unroyal Mochdre. The reasons for this are the following:-

  • Mochdre, nobody's proud to be there, almost nobody was there
  • It was close to the train track, with it numerous bridges
So, we waited, and waited, and waited for the train to speed past us, each minute going by listing all the things The Queen have to give us for our "support". By about the time the list got to "Gibraltar", it came. The Royal Train rushed under the Royal Bridge releasing Royal Smoke into the Royal Atmosphere, giving us Royal Lung Cancer and Royal Pneumonia. Oh well, ce la vie.

In other news, GO ON THE IRISH! Ireland recorded the biggest win in their history, qualifying for the illustrious knockout stage of the world cup. (Don't laugh at me building it up, France didn't get there!). I love the irish squad, and it was nice that Breen, who is currently on Free Transfer, did his prospects the world of good by scoring. It would of been nice if Germany went out, but beggers cannot be choosers can they?

Au Revoir Le Bleu


Monday, June 10, 2002

Ever Get the feeling of Deja Vu?  

Hiya, today has probably been one of the most boring days of the year so far. Nothing ever happened, just stayed in all day (bar a short walk at lunch) and revised, that was it. Imagine what'd it be like AFTER my exams, utter torture. Anyway on the bright side I did do a lot of constructive work. Onto tomorrow, and as I've already mentioned I'm going to see the Queen in town, so that should be unique, no doubt about that, although spending quarter of a million ish on one person coming, instead in the much needed, deprived areas of the town, is a little depressing. 

Also, I was watching daytime TV today, and it's an absolute joke! This morning is the most boring program ever, and rivals Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows as the worst piece of recorded footage ever. They talk about utter crap! No doubt about it. So I thought I'd rekindle my youth and switch over to the new CBBC channel, after all, I have been impressed with some programs (Yvon of the Yukon is so the funniest cartoon in a long time), no such luck. The presenters are very one dimensional, and what about co-presenters!?!? The best ever had to be either Edd The Duck or Otis the Aardvark. Now guess what's on? Glenda the Blender!!!! Jeez, I've heard about "Bringing the Kitchen Out of The Kitchen", but Glenda The Blender? What's next, Edwin The Bread bin? It suprises me a lot the intelligence of some of the people at the beeb. Anyway, keep it real, and I'll see you all tomorrow 


Sunday, June 09, 2002

So very, very tired.....

Heya people, today and late yesterday I went for a "Sleep Over" at Balti's house (although I didn't sleep at all) to watch the boxing (go on Lewis). Only problem: why do you have to pay for it so late in the evening? I cannot understand it. People are buying it though, and some people must fall asleep during the 10 hour build up, as I so nearly did. But I didn't, I kept awake. After watching it I must admit that I am not a big fan of boxing. Boxing is a violent sport, and I really don't like it. I am happy that Lennox won, but give me my yes "fake" but hell of a lot more exciting WWE Wrestling.

If you smell what I'm cooking.

Balti's house was fun last night, upto a point, whereby I nearly collapsed. But apart from that fun. It was also very wierd staying up until 5am in the morning, and see the sun rise.

Right, before I catch some Z's, I'll explain some of the highlights I'll have this week.

Tuesday, June 11th
The Queen's coming to town! Although I'm not a huge royalist by any stretch of the imagination, I will take time out of my revision schedule to see our illustrious leader "In The Fleshâ„¢". Me, Tom and a few others had a major discussion a few months ago about how much it would be worth to catch Her Royal Highness out with the
classics "Schoolboy Error" or "Hello Sailor". I hope someone has the bollocks to do so, because that would be hilarious.

Friday, June 14th
My major exams begin!!! AAAARRRGGGGHHHH!!! Maths P3, followed by 2 General Studies Papers. Like hell am I going to do well in GS. Anyway, by the end of the quarter finals of the World Cup MY EXAMS WILL BE OVER! I look at it like that...

In any rate, c'yall soon.


Saturday, June 08, 2002

Half Day Report

Hello again kids. Just a quick update speaking about things that I'd like to
get off my chest.

Firstly, I doubt very much some individuals on the internet even have a brain. This is a message I just recieved from some guy, unprovoked I may add.

your_soulmate007: hgi
rhyswynne: hi
your_soulmate007: asl
rhyswynne: 18/m/uk, u?
your_soulmate007: fuck off from here
rhyswynne: huh?

So there you have it, the average mental age of some of the people on the internet is appoximately 5. And people wonder why the internet has a bad reputation?

Oh Well

Back to reality I go.


Friday, June 07, 2002

Okay, I'd admit it, it WAS a good game.

Now, as if you didn't hear it enough today, England beat the Argies 1-0, and I have serious egg on my face. You see, I am not a big England fact, I'm not an England fan at all! That's why I picked the Argies. However, after the first 10 minutes, I DID consider switching loyalties, and ended up rooting for England. Why? For the good of the game. This rivalry wasn't like with Germany, who 9 times out of 10 outclass England, the 'tinians were dirty. Dirty as used dishwater. Whereas England played like professionals. However, those who think my loyalties have completely changed. Think again. I still want the English to go out, however, not as much as Argentina. COME ON WALES!

Anyway, onto other matters.

Today, I went to Rhyl (laughs). Rhyl has it's good bits, and it's terrible bits. Anyway one of it's best bits is the arcades there are like no other. Yes you get the usual "Gotta Smoke loch" scallies, who are the scum of the earth, but they do keep their distance. (I can say that because doubt any scallies could even use a calculator, let alone a computer). However, there are some nice people there (all the people who I were on work experience with were very friendly), and as previously mentioned I went into the arcades. One game I used to play a lot was Dancing Stage, but ever since I got my guitar, I've really stopped playing it. Today, in Rhyl, it showed. I wasn't terrible (I completed the game on standard), but I really didn't get good scores.

I'm going have to get back into shape.

I've just taken a test to see how I act, below are the results


I act like I'm 17.
This test was brought to you by Melissa - No, really.... Take it here.

What's the difference between acting like 17 and 18 anyway? Some of the most dumb people I know are 18, some of my most sensible and intelligent friends are 17....shows what THEY know. Mwha!

Finally, you may notice to the left of this paragraph, is a picture of me!!! Yes, I've decided to throw caution to the wind and put up a (not very flattering) picture. Also, the days have begun, only 14 days until the majority (bar PH6 Physics) of my exams are OVER! DONE! FINIT! And, to be perfectly honest, I cannot wait.

Speak to you all soon....


Thursday, June 06, 2002

A Long Long Time Ago in a Galaxy Far Far away.....

I've just seen the new Star Wars flick! As this is my first ever Star Wars film I've ever seen, I was a little apprehensive. However, it's the sort of film I love, loads of guns, loads of sci fi stuff, and not too much soppy stuff. It was a ball, except for the following reasons.

  • One of the members of the family next to me thought it was hilarious whenever Jar Jar Binks spoke. By about half way through, whenever dramatic music played, I was begging for Jango Fett to come along and bump him off.
  • My brother, who has seen the other films, pointed out all the bits that I *might* of missed. Now, this is understandable, but he takes ages to explain everything.
  • Finally, Anakin is a bit annoying. (I suppose though, we ARE supposed to hate him).

But overall, a good flick.

After the film, me and my two brothers went to Maccy D's. We thought it would be a chance to catch up with some news, as friends work there. However, I noticed that Fletch was working in the kitchen! Thankfully, no saliva from his mouth went into my burger! (Only joking Fletch!)

Finally, you know a few days ago I was excited that I bought Tobal #1? Well guess what? It don't work. I'll be ringing Game tomorrow, as the chances of getting over to Chester anytime soon are next to nothing.

May the Force Be With You

Master Wynrh Spesta

Half Day Report

Hiya everybody! This is only a small update. In little over an hour I will be taking my seat to watch Star Wars Episode II: Attack Of The Clones (therefore losing my title of the biggest Star Wars never to see the actual movie), and I am dead excited, I've been jumping around the house making "zzzoooooommm" noises, while wielding my imaginary lightsabre.

This morning, I had a quick flick through some teenie girly magazine at the hairdresser (don't ask, I was bored), and I must say, the quality of the material inside is quite shocking, and not what I expected. There was an article about....ahem.....'Pleasure Aids for Women', thousands of pin-ups of men (which I did suspect) and the letters page was full of teenage girls problems, many of which I daren't repeat.

The pierce da resistance however, was the article entitled 'I killed my boyfriend!', which was very depressing. I don't know if it was a story or real life, but it's not the sort of stuff I'd like to read.

Compare that with the men's magazines available. Each one of them is a good laugh. Although you DO get pictures of Carmen Electra on pages (which is not a bad thing, she is without a shadow of a doubt the nicest looking girl in the world), the articles are good read. Now, I would say that being a bloke, but they are. The articles are about important stuff, for example the one I just read was about Dido (the second most attractive girl in the world in my opinion) and it wasn't smutty, or raunchy, it was just all about concerts she does and funny stories. Also, the jokes are funny, the football stuff is brilliant, and you get USEFUL free gifts. Not a brush (although people might argue I need one), not a 'mirror', things like '100 most useless facts ever', bags of pork scratchings, and other crap. Stuff you want from a magazine, that's fun.

However, I do say that I am biased, and to be honest I don't read either much, but I can't think of anybody who'd like to read about other peoples warts in Teenie mags.

Anyway I'll be back later on to talk about the movie, and anything else I find useful.

Until Later


Wednesday, June 05, 2002

5th June 2002

Little Help Please?

Now, you may or may not know, but I make computer games for the PC as a hobby. The most recent being "The Square Game", released a few weeks back. Now, this game has been a bit of a success in some circles, both critically and publically acclaimed. Another one of my hobbies is "Egosurfing", which is the process of entering your name or companies or products that you have made or ran, and see the results. Anyway one site had my game listed on it, and it gave it a little write up. However, the write up is in Russian! So, if anybody's bilingual (none of the online translators do russian), or knows of a translation from russian to english, please help! Cheers.

Today, I went to the lovely city of Chester, now Chester has a rich history, but I just went to shop. Today I bought:-

  • A 1970's style Brazil shirt. The problem is that as it's a 1970's Brazil shirt, not only does it look like it, it also fits like it, so I have trouble to breathe in it. Heaven only knows how Pele and co won a number of world cups in it....

  • Tobal #1. Now, for the unitiated of the "Golden Age of Playstation" (Tomb Raider to FF XI), Tobal is a slick 3D beat em up by Squaresoft, the guys and gals who did the excellent "Final Fantasy" series on the PS. It's one of those games that isn't too well presented (except for the brilliant animation), and also it's one of those games you'll either love or hate. Anyway I'd been looking for it for ages, and I found it! Dead Chuffed.
I also got my first taste of the Gamecube today, (twice!). They had it in 2 different shops, one had Super Smash Brothers, the other Luigi Mansion. I must say that I was notably impressed. The Mushroom Kingdom looked exactly as it should be, and this could be good. HOWEVER due to the size of the disc, I do believe that the PS2 will kick it's rear end.

After watching the Japan v Belgium game in the World Cup, I noticed something. Does anybody else agree that the Japanese Player Tsuneyasu Miyamoto looks a hell of a lot like The Hurricane?

Maybe it's just me.

Finally for today, I've also listened to Eminem's new album, and I must say, I am mightily impressed! Not a huge Eminem fan, I like a bit of his stuff, but I just might get it. Also, I've decided I like Faithless' "One Step Too Far". Damn, I'm going senile in my old age!

Sorry today's entry has been a little boring (aren't they all?) but I really didn't have a spectacular day today.

Keep The Faith


Tuesday, June 04, 2002

4th June 2002 A little later on! Okay, I have decided, I'm going to write crap of what I'm thinking at the moment. Basically people HAVE been reading this and like to know a little more about me. Well, here goes.

  • I am 18 years old living in North Wales.
  • I have just finished my time in school, and am going on to study Computer Science.
  • My loves are video games, football, and a good beer.
  • My hates are idiots on Yahoo who think their cool, and say "Dude" a lot
Well there it is, all about me. However, not being one to shut up, I've just this second completed a "Which Video Games Character are you?" test. Results are below.
What Video Game Character Are You? I am Link.I am Link.

Versatile and well-meaning, I'm simply striving for a better lifestyle. I find that people really look up to me. Even tall people. Not to brag, but the opposite sex would surely place me on their "most eligible" list, and I'd be more than happy to oblige. I often find that in a crowd I typically emerge as the leader, something which doesn't always come naturally to me. What Video Game Character Are You?
Well there you have it, I'm some bleeding elf, and Nigel is nowhere to be seen. Well, things could be better, I could be the asteroid ship off asteroids, or maybe Rayman. Also the line "I find that people really look up to me. Even tall people. Not to brag, but the opposite sex would surely place me on their "most eligible" list, and I'd be more than happy to oblige" appeals to me, so it isn't all bad... ACTUALLY NO! I'm still pissed off. I am a thick bleeding elf who gallivants around castle's looking for Zelda, who, is NOTHING to write home about, she's ugly, ears to rival Gary Lineker's, and worse of all, she keeps getting into trouble! She is a dangerous woman, and I am apparently going to marry her in the future.

Actually, thinking about it, did Zelda and Link ever marry?

I sincrely hope not.....


4th June 2002

God Save the Queen...and her fascist regime....
No, don't worry, I haven't gone all anarchistic, that's a quote from the Sex Pistols song "God Save The Queen". Yesterday, as you may or may not of known, was the Jubilee. Now, it doesn't mean much to me, as I'd prefer the world cup, but it did to a lot of people. However, as it doesn't to me, I won't speak about it.

Today, we went to Conwy, it is a nice walled town with a lot of heritage. However, as it's a town, we just went to play tennis. Which was nice upto a point whereby I realised I'm pretty crap at the game. I really haven't done anything else today so that's all I can talk about.

Keep it Real


Monday, June 03, 2002

3rd June
Never Had a chance anyway.

Sorry (if there IS anybody reading this), for not updating it over the weekend, just that Saturday was hectic, and really couldn't be arsed updating it yesterday. Nevertheless, this will be my weekend update.

Saturday, June 1st
White Rabbits! In under two weeks time, my exams will begin for real. Mathematics P3 and a couple of General Studies papers will be the storm before the even bigger storm, so any form of luck/revision papers/crippling injury will be beneficial to me. In any rate off to Liverpool (hopefully) should I pass.

Today was work day. 1-6 six, or a Chris pointed out "The BS Shift" (or summit like that, I was tired), relating to a person at his work place getting that shift. However, for someone who quivers at the sound of work, it's tough, but not rocket science.

Speaking of Chris, there was a barbecue around at his house, which was a beer and footie fest. I was offered an sidekick from john, took one sip (yes, I am like that), then pleasantly declined, at which point Clare quickly downed my orange sidekick.

Probably the worst moment was later on that night, whereby the sun went in, and we watched TV. Of course, could we decide on what to watch? Could we thump!

Here was what was decided

  • Me, John Boy and Wiz wanted to watch WWE.
  • Tom wanted to watch the ugly bunt Kylie Minogue.
  • Some wanted to watch the football, which was all right, but sitting next to a drunken Simon, who proceeded to shout out "Goal" before every German goal in their 8-0 thrashing of the Saudi's, was a little unpleasant.

In any rate, we decided to watch Fight Club, which is one hell of a movie...if you understand it.

Needless to say. I didn't.

Sunday, June 2nd
Oh deary deary me. I'm pretty sure the country was in turmoil yesterday, well, if England was, then so was Wales, Scotland and the Northern Irish, oh well, that's the BBC for you.

The worlds most overrated team drew to Sweden. Which was a good result. However, just so happens that this ISN'T good enough for England, who MUST win every single game, and immediately come down on the players. Listen, to ALL the England fans reading this, please read the next line very, very carefully.


Now, I know I'll probably get some backlash for saying this, but I really don't care. I'll probably get comments along the lines of this.

  • "Where are Wales in the world cup"
  • "Remember 66!"
  • "Why doesn't Hargreaves and Owen play for Wales, I mean, they were born in Wales weren't they?"

And all I can say is this.

  • "What sort of team plays long ball strategy, with
    Beckham, Scholes and Hargreaves in midfield, and Vassell and Owen, two players both under 6', up front?"

  • "Why do you bring in a foreigner to do your management and coaching, at least with Mark Hughes (who is the best Wales coach for quite a while) he was a Welshman, you bring in a fecking Swede!"

I think that settles the argument.

Back To Today
I'll probably update it again either today or tomorrow, with what's happening today. In any rate c'ya soon.

Rock + Roll, live the dream.


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This site is (C) Rhys Wynne 2002. All copyrights are registered trademarks of their respective owners. I cannot be responsible for any of my software not working on anybody else's computer, and any actions carried out by third parties as a result of anything read on this site. Everything written on this blog is true. However, all these events are recalled from memory, and some of the events may have been altered by my mind or alcohol. So some experiences (usually the ones involving drink) are exaggerated.

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