The Art of Rhysisms

Rhysisms [Reece Is-ums]: Stupid, no meaning sentances. Created by Rhys Wynne [Reece Win] for his blog, The Art of Rhysisms. [more..]

Runner up in the best tagline catagory of 2004 Bloggies

A Googlewhack for the words "Pocketable Tourniquets", which I created myself.

Support International Webloggers Day! July 9th, 2004
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Member of the New World Whore-der in the Liverpool University Ten Pin Bowling Club.

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Sunday, March 30, 2003

We've Gotta Get Out Of This Place...if It's the Last thing we ever do
I have laws unto myself. These laws are kinda like commandments for me: things that I will not do. Some, I just think it's wrong, some it's because it would hurt other people. However, some of them are for my own personal pleasure. One of them is "Thou shalt not enter the heathen territory known as Broadway.". I really don't like Broadway, it's abysmal. I vowed a few months ago never to step foot in there again. Today, I'm repeating that vow: If I ever step foot in Broadway again, you have my permission to shoot me.

So, how bad was it last night? Well, upto a point, it was great. My mates and I had a great time going out, celebrating everything that needs celebrating, and was in absolute stitches when we were ringing up random people. Then it seemed to go tits up.

Did I just say Avril Lavigne?
I think because I sobered up, and couldn't be arsed paying three freaking quid for another drink, and then I got tired, and just wandered around, like a lamb who had lost it's mother. So how did the rest of my night go after that? Well, you know that quality Avril Lavigne with that quality video "I'm With You"? Imagine Avril with shorter, curlier, darker hair, longer trouser, bit podgier, (argueably) smaller chest, slightly worse singer, bit taller and uglier people around her. That was pretty much how my night ended up. Oh yeah, with shite music.

Before going out to Broadway, some bird gave our cameras a smile
So, how ugly are the people in there? Well, bar people who attend university, and those with actual proper jobs, a lot of them sign on the dole, and they are a state. Imagine the most ugly person you know, spliced with a cow. Okay, now imagine this bastard child of the person/cow took a huge crap, and that's the state of some of the people in there. It really is that bad.

"Aha!" I hear you say "All because it looked like a cattle market, I bet you pulled, or at least courted attention." The answer is, thankfully, no. There are three reasons for this:-

  • Ugly people generally go for ugly people.
  • I wasn't exactly playing easy to get.
  • And besides, my worst enemy was in force, it was dark. This meant that nobody could see the sheer attractiveness of yours truly.
  • Finally, and this is all I'm going to say about it, I hate the music in it. Their idea of 'cheese' is "I am the One And Only"....with a bass techno beat. Their idea of 'indie' is "Wonderwall"...with a bass techno beat. Notice a connection? I'm going to stick my neck out here, I can actually understand why people listen to Westlife and crap like that, because, dispite being crap, it's listenable. However, dance and garage I really cannot understand the appeal. Call me old-fashioned, but give me Feeder any day of the week.

    In Other News
    One of the coolest things of last night was the atmosphere. What put everybody in a good mood? Well, pictures tell 1000 words:-

    Rydyn Nghymru yn mynd i'r Bortiwgal flwyddyn nesa. Mae'r Lloegr yn mynd? Dwi ddim yn meddwl

    Yep, our boys put on a clinical performance against (admittedly much weaker opposition) Azerbaijan, leaving us 4 points clear at the top of the group. As Liverpool legend Johnny Toshack said "We've got One Foot in the Algarve.". Okay, we're only half way through, and the harder teams to come, but we can be optimistic, can't we? After all, after the World Cup, England thought they would walk this championship, and they struggle.

    Oh well, as old Sweedy Erikson said "A Win's A Win."

    It was funny, we decided to ask a dedication to the Welsh team after the result, and we got shot down 'Don't do sport, and don't politics' crap. Like it'd matter, I bet 'Bush' has a freaking different meaning to them.

    This is probably the coolest animation. Ever.

    Keep the Faith


    Just a little footnote for some people who know me personally. Some take it personally that whenever I have a crap night. It's nobody's fault (well, none of my mates anyway), it's just I don't like Broadway.

    Thursday, March 27, 2003

    It's been a hard day's night
    If I could use one hyphenated word to sum up today to a tee, it would be "Beatle-y". For the first time since I've been living in Liverpool, I actually felt I've connected with the Awesome Foursome (and no, not in that way).

    Liverpool's favourite sons, if you discount John Moore. And Bill Shankly. And Atomic Kitten...
    This city is Beatle mad. It's fantastic because of it - the closest thing we've got to successful music in North Wales is 3SL, a 3 piece boy band from Rhyl that the week they released their first single in the UK, they were fired for being crap. However, I've been a bit removed from the whole Beatle-mania. Yeah, they did good stuff, and helped promote peace, but there about 30 years too late for me. Still, they're still pretty cool, and in not just my eyes, in other less important people.

    The first (and much less signifigant) encounter was a seminar we had today in Uni today. It was given by Sir Robin Saxby, who is head of Arm Holdings Plc.. Basically, they make like all the microprocessors in almost every single electronic device in circulation - I think Motorola mobiles are the only exception. It costs a million quid to licence the chip, so it don't take a genius to work out that he's pretty loaded.

    Despite having enough money to buy a loser country like France, he came accross as a very down to earth bloke who had his roots in the region (he studied in my department you see, so that's why he likes us a lot) and talked about what his life was like in the uni in his day. However, the lecture was way over my head. It was very freaking complicated, and it scared me.

    So how does this link to The Beatles? Well, Robin has quite a lot of clout in this world (he has helped in government investigations, or summit like that), and yesterday he had lunch with another Liverpool resident: Yoko Ono. Yoko freaking Ono! She's like John Lennon's bird! She's like famous! Holy freaking crap!

    For god's sake people it's a freaking road sign!*
    The second story not only links to the Beatles, but also to freaky forigners. Regular readers may know that I live very near Penny Lane (as of the song), part of how much I like the Beatles is how they can turn possibly one of the most boring streets in Liverpool (it contains a dodgy Chinese, Penny Lane Cakes, a handful of newsagents and a bookies) into a fantastic song is a stroke of freaking genius, and I was taking a mid day stroll to the bookies, followed by Penny Lane Cakes.

    So, with a handful of betting slips in one hand and a plastic bag containing a half eaten sausage roll, a donut and an Um Bongo in the other, I walked to the end of Penny Lane, and guess what I came across? The Magical Mystery tour. The Magical Freaking Mystery Tour. The tour is a bane to students, as we (usually hungover) are woken by the bus arriving at the gates, and releasing foriegners and people with nothing better to do into the end of Penny Lane, before shipping them off.

    I came across this group of people, and crossed the road to avoid them. However, one couple wouldn't allow me to ignore them without a fight.

    "Scuse me, sorry. You live Penny Lane?" A Japenese couple said.
    "Yeah, well, kinda." I replied.
    "Ha ha!" The male said. "You take picture."
    At this point, I proceeded to grab the camera. The man, obvious allowing the Scouse reputation to proceed a non-scouse living there, pulled his arm away.
    "No no." He said, quite understandable. "You pose with wife."
    Not in a mood to argue, and really nothing to argue about, I agreed.
    So there's some lucky Asian woman who, when visiting the UK, not only got to see one of the UK's leading cultural exports, but also Penny Lane, as well.

    In Other News
    A few days ago I talked about the Easter Ball featuring Quasar and a Casino. However, it has emerged that it is now a "Masquerade" Ball. My guess was that they were afraid that I'd intimidate everybody else with my looks. Where the freaking lover of crap am I going to get a mask from? Wonder if I'm allowed a Halloween one....

    Pengor's here. Be very afraid.

    And finally, good news for all you video gamers out there. 'Respawn' has been included in the dictionary as 'restarting from a safe point when killed in a computer game.'! Also in there is 'redtop' (tabloids), 'flava', 'phat' and 'hoodie'. Probably the only decent story The Mail has reported. Ever.

    Keep the Faith


    * incidentally, if you turn roughly 90 degrees left from that sign, you get where I live! (for the next 10 weeks, anyway)

    In the early 21st Century, World War III raged on the world. Those who survived sought to stop a World War IV, which would destroy society. Clerics were appointed to eradicate the base of Man's desire to harm Man. Clerics eradicated feeling...

    Kill him! Please! Get this over and done with.
    And so began one of the biggest rip-offing pieces of crap ever concieved in filming.

    Last night, we went to watch 'Equlibrium'. Basically, this is the story:-

    Bloke (who bears a more than a passing resembelence to Keanu Reeves) is a bloke who destroys everything that makes us happy (Music. Video. Games. Yes, even this site was branded.) and killed anyone who didn't. He then misses a dose of some drug, and feels some emotion. He then don't want the crappy drug no more, and proceeds to bring down this big building from the inside. The end. It's a mini freaking adventure.
    I cannot begin to describe how bad this film is. I would however reccommend watching it, when (if) it comes out on video. Just for a laugh. Basically, it's the Matrix, but nowhere near makes you wonder. It's just so far fetched. This wierd sect? Everything been given numbers? It really is just so unbelievable that it suffers so bad. Now, I go crazy-go-nuts for fantasy, no problem. I love Lord of The Rings, X-Men, Star Wars, Daredevil, crap like that. However, Equilibrium does try to be quite real, as it shows "Man's Evil Side" ie. Hitler, and even Saddam (they showed Saddam when they said what I wrote in the title, and if that didn't freak you out, then nothing, at least in the film, would). Which I understand. However, they also showed Ludwig Van Beethoven. Ludvig Van freaking Beethoven! He couldn't be evil even if he could.

    Smug Brandt, abitious sidekick of the good guy. If you think about it, if he was ambitious, he'd have to feel something, wouldn't he? Jealousy for example. Ha! It falls flat on it's freaking arse!
    About half way though the film though, I did shout. I know, it's wrong, but nobody was paying attention. What at? At the 'Non EC-10 Literature Resource' (EC-10 Literature is any books not allowed by the 'Father') there was a guy I recognised, and I don't recognise too many people in films.
    "It's Brian Conley!, It's Brian Freaking Conley!"
    I wasn't told to shut up because, well, nobody really gave one.

    You may hear by film critics the words "Matrix Ripoff". And I agree, it is. However, "Matrix Ripoff" is vastly over-rated. Imagine Matrix, a few hundred times crapper, and then that few hundred times crapper Matrix took a huge crap. That's what I was watching last night. Either that, or they started charging people to go into 9pm 2 hour Data Structures lectures, anyway. Hell I didn't notice, I was lost in a trance. Or something.

    Maybe I'm being a bit harsh. There were some cool gunfights, which were ripped straight from the Matrix. But the Smug Bad Guy's death was pretty cool, as was the gun fight in the dark (probably the only non-Matrix Cool thing in the film).

    Dispite all the directors obvious subliminal messaging that 'War is good, it solves everything', there was one idea that could work in society today, mentioned by the 'father' during his 24 hour subliminal messaging:-

    "Humans will have sexual contact exactly once a year, with a predetermined partner. Failure to adhere to this rule is punishable by death."
    Okay, it may seem harsh. After all, sex once a year is less than what most people get now. However, for some of us, it's a hell of a lot more.

    You happy now Rick??
    Despite this slating, I would reccommend seeing it, just once. The film itself didn't really do anything bad, the acting was bearable, and the special effects were pretty cool. However, for the 'must-see' value is the story, as it's so crap, it's unbelievable. Not for more than £4 though. Unless you're rich.

    But it was something to do for a few hours at least.

    In other News
    I'm going to see Placebo, after caving in to my brother's blackmail demands. Still, they'd be pretty cool.

    Keep the Faith


    Wednesday, March 26, 2003

    No doubt my mates back home will rip me for this, but I was explaining the concept of "Photoshopping" to a mate on my course, a staunch Evertonian (the slightly less crappier team in Liverpool.....slightly). Of course, being the cynical freaking moron that he is, he couldn't concept it. So I've spent the last hour, inspired by a post by Roland on his blog, putting together "Roonaldo".

    Oh? You want to see it? Well, tough. Tripod UK is down for "essential maintenance" for a few days, and I cannot access my Freeserve account. So I've hosted it onto MSN.

    All of a sudden, Wayne Rooney's England career was in tatters. Welsh and Scots say "Freaking Marvelous!" and went crazy-go-nuts.

    I haven't decided if I'll post it on B3ta, because it's my first one, and it's a bit crap, and it's very much a Brit thing (or maybe a few other countries, if you like footy). I'd probably get ripped apart by some fickle people. Hey, I could be wrong. But you never know.

    Keep the Faith


    If anybody here reading this who knows me personally - Doesn't Roonaldo's face looks slightly like Goz's? Not saying anything more than that. just what I think.

    We'll be singing, when we're winning, we'll be singing
    Yesterday saw the return of the Rhys Wynne "I Haven't Got Anything Better To Do, And You Could Win Beer, So That's Cool" Kareoke Tour 2003. After two weeks (the last time where such an event was witnessed was my birthday) of "I'd love to but....I really cannot be arsed" I returned, stronger than I was before.

    I didn't have much time, so I had time for one song. After nearly being forced into retirement due to:-

    1. Me refusing to sing the same song twice.
    2. Me going through all the decent songs on the list.

    "I dunno how you do what you do, I'm so in love with you." God, my blokiness will suffer.
    I was running out of songs, so I chose "Amazed" by Lonestar.

    Now, depending on whether you're shagging someone or not at this time, you'll think "What a song, lovely!" or "Make's me freaking sick like the crap that Westlife produce.". Whilst I agree with both "It's a cool song, unlike the crap that Westlife produce, but it still makes me freaking sick." (I don't know whether this means I'm shagging someone or not. That means that someone I know has got dodgy porn featuring someone shagging, or watched it at least). As soon as I handed it in, I realised the mistake I made (and I am not familiar with making mistakes, so I should be commending on my realising abilites) as the song will severely dent my level of awesome blokeness down a fair whack, to the level of Vin Diesel. In tights. That are pink.

    However, I was pretty safe, as someone was shouting "I love you!" at the top of her voice during my song, a lot of crap for music taste people were going crazy go nuts due to the beer. So my blokiness wasn't too damaged.

    "But..." I hear you say "you're level of awesome blokeness will no doubt improve when you win the beer, thus making you the toast of the town?". Well, yes it would, but not for the first time, I was screwed out of it. The beer is decided out of first one out of a pint glass-shaped glass hat, rather on talent. Which is good news for everybody else, but not for me. I supposed the reasoning behind it is this conversation I had just over 19 years ago:-

    Reasoning/Talent Decider Bloke: Hey Rhys, I'm going to make you super talented. You will be awesome at everything you do. You will also be so awesomely attractive that women will be scared to talk at you. However, you will never win any beer in any singing competitions, due to....well....just because it won't take you much to get you drunk anyway. So it'll be better off to give it to some piece of crap, who can drink like a fish, so that he/she can put it to good use.
    So, it's a blessing and a curse. I would like to win just freaking once. I do loads of songs each week, often being better as the original crappy artists. I mean, man, just think what I can do with 24 bottles of beer?! I could like....get drunk 24 times 1 person who can handle twice as much as me drunk 12 times. Well, you get the picture. I need some freaking beer!

    Keep The Faith


    You may of noticed the tone down of swearing in the passage above. That's because I'm trying to use less of the f word etc. Aren't I lovely?

    Tuesday, March 25, 2003

    Random Thoughts
    You know, I hate calling posts "Random Thoughts". It's crap. Nevertheless, you know what sort of post you'll be getting mind, thoughts of a random nature, with little or no connection. Here we go.

    Yesterday began with my brace being re-fitted. This came after a nasty incident early on a Sunday morning a few weeks back where it literally collapsed in my mouth. Anyway it's fixed now, and back in the mouth of the rightful owner. Still a bit sore, but I've had worse. Much worse.

    Placebo: Rick, get your own university venue with bands playing in it, you mooching bastard....
    Rick, I'm not going to see Placebo! Get your own university venue!

    To completely contradict my complaining last week, I went out last night, got pissed, and had a good time. I think because I went out with a large group of people who, were DVirgins (people who are haven't be to Double Vision before. I just made that 'DVirgins' bit up mind). I got fairly leathered, but only spent £10. This is quite an achievemant, as you cannot fake pissed-ness, so I'm a lightweight, big deal? Cheap nights out. Bow down before me, for I am your king.

    Kind of related to that: last night was quite successful with the ladies. It's the sort of feeling you get when you know that you haven't won something, but put on a good display. I didn't actually pull last night, but the potential was there. One bird I was speaking to for about half an hour, and for me to talk to someone for that long is quite impressive, as my short attention span coupled with my fantastic looks mean that I unwittingly intimmidate women. However, last night was a success, if only potentially.

    However, I've said it before, and I'll say it again: potential won't buy you breakfast.

    Skateboarding - Best leave it to professionals...or to people who don't matter
    Another bit of advice for potential drinkers. Skateboards are a bad thing when pissed. They're even worse when, like yours truly, cannot actually skate in the first place. However, that didn't stop me last night, as I took up boarding. Who was I trying to prove it to? I don't know, nobody was around, and I stood on wearing my flashy unbuttoned short sleeve shirt with a long sleeve t-shirt underneath (which, I may add, I looked the fucking part) and built up a bit of speed. I came to a wall, not a high one: I'm pretty sure that messers Hawk and his cronies could jump it easily. However, I couldn't, but it was too late to stop. I, to use a technical term 'bailed' over the wall, and landed in such a way that'd make Steve-o wince in pain. My shins are sore, and, couple that with my ample frame, means that I'm in so much pain, especially walking. I need crutches, or one of those cool wheelchairs. You know, the one from that BBC promo where they're dancing on them on the basketball court with that bloke from that hangover TV programme xChange*. They're pretty cool.

    Probably one of my favourite strokes of genius not initiated my yours truly is Namethatblog. I don't know why, it's kind of like gambling in a wierd way. You know the more you do, the less chance you have of winning. As my Manchester City-esque push for a top 10 position, thus guarenteeing me European competition next year. These plans hit a minor setback when I missed a Emile Heskey-esque sitter, and failing to recognise a quote from my own blog. Bugger.

    Finally, two things. Firstly, I love this site's design. That's cool. And tickets have started to go for the Liverpool University Easter ball. One feature that will swing it for me is Bouncy Castle Quasar. Now, using Roland's Evil Law of Cumulative Coolness that can probably be disproved by I cannot be arsed we have the following:-

    Bouncy Castles (cool) + Quasar (cool) = Bouncy Castles with Quasar Guns (Uber Cool)
    Right, back to bed.

    Keep the Faith


    * In case you're wondering, I'm X-ID Yellow 349506.

    Sunday, March 23, 2003

    MK1: 7 digitised combattants kicking each other with dodgy collision detection and red pixels flying everywhere - why the fuss?
    Kutting The Krap
    This weekend's game playing has been dominated by one game and one game only - Mortal Kombat: Deadly Alliance. Despite recent piss poor efforts to milk the Mortal Kombat Cow (or is it Kow?), this game is classic MK: Great Graphics, Excellent Storyline, and lots and lots of gore.

    See, that's the ultimate problem with Mortal Kombat. Up until MK3, (discounting Ultimate MK and Trilogy) the game relied on blood and guts to sell. Since then it has more relied on the excellent story. Probably, outside of RPG's, the story in MK is probably the most thorough (and best of all, it translates very well to the small screen: go rent out the movie and it's Kraps all over the Street Fighter one. Dr. Dhalsim? What were they thinking?) out of any games. Anyway, I digress. Since MK3, people have been avoiding Mortal Kombat because they think "Hmmm...I bet that game is crap because they need to use blood to sell it", which is a shame, as MK3 was pretty good, as was MK4. Mortal Kombat: Deadly Alliance is brand new, new characters, new fighting system, and new modes. And it's fantastic.

    Mortal Kombat - Deadly Allance. A return to over-sickly form.
    Probably one criticism with MK is that the home conversions relied too much on arcade modes, and didn't expand. As Deadly Alliance was never actually in the arcades, nastysayers cannot say "Oh, this game is crap, it's the same as in the arcade.". Nevertheless, they've introduce the "Krypt", 26 x 26 grid ("An Array!" I hear some people shout, which is true: they said it was a 26x26 array in "The making of.." video) with bonuses you can unlock by kollecting kombat koins. That's pretty smart.

    The only problem is that the violence is through the roof. In previous incarnations, the fatalities were too far out to be belivable (ie. morphing into dragons, scaring someone to death, spitting nails in them*), and friendships/babalities/animalities added much needed comedic value to the game, in Deadly Alliance however they seem a bit too brutal for my liking, (ie. stamping onto someone's head, impaling them on a sword etc.) which not only makes them a bit sick, but removes some of the (for lack of a better word) humour from the game. Add that to the fact that the characters can not only cough up blood, but throw up as well, does make for some uneasy gameplaying moments.

    In other News
    Couple of funny (not ha ha, but they could be) things happenned today.

    Firstly, I think I'm getting Athelete's Foot. Why this is funny is that it's the first time the words "I" and "Athelete" have appeared together in a sentance without a sign of a negative. Anyway, it's the first [someone]'s [part of the body] problem I've got. Well, discounting Joypad Thumb and Brewer's Droop, of course, but those are debatable.

    Today we went to Penmaenmawr. I mention it because Penmaenmawr is Welsh for hangover. Quite why it is I haven't workedout why. Penmaenmawr doesn't really have too many pubs. In fact, I cannot rembembering noticing one. Maybe it's got it's name by all the Penmaenmawrians walking to nearby town Dwygafwlchi (I've probably spelt it wrong, but as if you'd notice, and as if anybody from Dwygafwlchi can use a computer) where there are more boozers per square mile than you can shake a stick at, and stumbling back to Penmaenmawr drunk as an Irishman, then, the morning after, hangover city! Hence: Penmaenmawr.

    Well, either that, or Penmaenmawr is the worse place to wake up with a hangover, which it probably is. It's as dead as Des Barnes.

    Keep The Faith


    **Incidentally, Mortal Kombat doesn't contain the best finisher ever. That goes to Killer Instinct. B.Orchid turns away from the camera, and rips open her top, exposing her jabberclangers for the opponant's eyes only. Their eyes then explode, causing much hilarity for all.

    Saturday, March 22, 2003

    If you haven't had a cider hangover, you haven't had a hangover.
    BL thoughts, RND, #0, #FF
    Today has been, to put it so thick people can understand it, 'one of those days'. Nowt special happenned. However, as anybody who has tried an live in the here and now will no doubt agree, Sans Alka-Seltzer and non-junk food hangovers are a bitch. Not just a nice bitch, a bitch of Alicia Douval standards (kids, ask your fathers on that one, or pick up a copy of any red top). The sad thing is that I didn't really have so called 'Pleasure' to balance it, so soon I should get some sweet loving! Last night I didn't go out or anything, just sat there, staring at a forlorn half of a 3 litre bottle of rapidly going off Strongbow on my shelf, so I just gave it a quick, and when I say quick, I do mean quick, finish.

    It's kind of wierd, hangovers seem to go in an inverted U shape (Inverse quadratic, to give it the proper geeky mathematical lingo), when drawn on a pain/time graph. They start off bearable, peak, then level off. It's this levelling off stage that I am at at the moment, so I'm doing okay. Ish.

    We've got Real Madrid in the next round. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Oh well, it gives us great pleasure being the only English side left in the competition (notice I said 'English').

    Little help needed here guys. Below are lyrics from some song that I know from my past, yet I don't know what song, and it's been bugging me all day. Anybody know where these came from:-

    I'm flesh and blood
    just a mortal man
    but within me a dream never ends.
    The cry of the wolf
    The scream of the lamb
    Resounds In the Heart of all men
    (I think)

    [Now at this point I cannot remember it, so I'll replace it with 'duh's]

    duh duh duuh duh duh duuh duh duh duuh duduh. duh duh duuh duh duh duuh duduh
    Don't be scared of the wolf, without him the lamb couldn't live.
    Anybody hazard a guess?

    You are feeling sleepy....
    Talking about my four hours of fame as F-Block Columns champion, it was quite wierd two hours. You go into a wierd subconsious mood while playing games for ages. I've had it a few times before: once while playing Gran Turismo on one of those massive 30 lap races so you get a boss car, and once while playing TFC for two hours straight, and now with Columns.

    It's hard to explaing what sort of feeling it puts you in. I remember speaking to someone who was present in the room for the two hours, but I really cannot remember what about. It's wierd.

    Those following my university escapades will say at this point "You know, you had an Ice Cream on Monday, but what happened since? Yesterday was such a lovely day in Liverpool, then surely you must of ran across the street from your room, and bought another one." At this point, I must relate to you a tale of first tragedy, then utter glee.

    The sad part is that the ice cream van has moved. Yes, not content with fulfilling the needs of the world's favourite student, it has packed up it's 99 flakes, strawberry sauce and hundred and thousands and moved to pastures new, leaving students needing their sugar fix.

    The good news is that there is now an ice cream van outside our department! As we're only a medium side department, we don't get a cafe or owt like that, but we're the only department in the Uni with an ice cream van outside. Being the inquizitive son of a gun that I am, I've come to one conclusion.

    Electrical Engineers like Ice Cream.

    Keep the Faith


    Friday, March 21, 2003

    Bad Boys
    I must apologise for everybody who thought yesterday "I want to get away from the world, I'll read Rhys's blog", as you were'nt in for much fun, I complained about the war, about Iraq etc. So, from now on, this blog will be a war-free zone (the reason being I prefer talking about me more). To show it, here's our little scale:-

    Rhys' Funny Little Scale Based On That Terror One But Humourously Recreated to Show How Arsed He Is About War
        "Ooh, this is where it gets interesting."
        "Hmmm....I've heard the main bits, lets see what else is on..."
        "Is Robot Wars on?"
    I'm Here >>>>   "Y'know, I couldn't care Less"

    Whatever you do Basil: Don't mention the war.
    And there you have it, simple, informative, and created in HTML, so that you're download time is not affected.

    However, I will say that yesterday late afternoon's post I did over-react, it was nowhere near as bad as I made it out to be, and (as you can probably tell) I got home okay. Happy days.

    Finally, and this is the absolute last thing I'll say about it, is that you could really see what the average student gave for the war when they realised that while the big Tony Blair speech to everybody was on, Jackass was on MTV.

    So, from now on, what's going on at the moment will be referred to the cockney rhyming slang as "The Bore". Cos that's what it is.

    In Other, More Important News
    I was thinking about my punishing myself for all the posts about The Bore, so I decided to punish my perrenial scapegoat, the liver, last night, and get pissed. It was fun, but I'm feeling it this morning.

    Last night however wasn't about getting pissed though, oh no, I had some serious issues to deal with. Yesterday I made my debut on Sega classic "Columns". With F Block's acquisition of a Megadrive with a healthy abundance of games, Columns has proved to be the choice of many for who will reign supreme, and will anybody crash the machine due to unfeasbly large score (I put it, being a 16 bit machine, at 4,294,967,294*), I reached about 2,000,000-odd after two solid hours of playing. However, unlike every single sport known to man, we don't work in score. Computer Games has a far simpler unit of awesomeness, and that is by levels. After the said two hours of continue playing (in which I did miss the Liverpool match, oh well, no big loss..) I reached the lofty peak of 170, burninating the previous record of 136. Bow down before me, for I, YES I am your King! What made this fantastic was that this was my first ever game of Columns, such is the reign of my power.

    Okay, something odd is happenning, I'm writing this in Everybody's Favourite MonopolyTM Frontpage, yet I'm still typing the old <u> and <i> tags for HTML, dispite there's a button on the top that does it for me, it's wierd. I can only discribe it as the stage, when, you're learning a language, you hear something and you don't translate it into your mother tounge, you can just reel off what it is, no problem. So, that's English, Welsh and HTML with me. Couple that with my Columns playing abilities, and when I finally learn the intricate secrets of the Phonetic Alphabet, then the world is my oyster.

    Right don't know when I'm going to update it next, as I'm hungover. However, I will be back....soon.

    Keep The Faith


    Note To Self: Get Our Lady Peace "Bring Back The Sun", and Greenday "Hitching A Ride"...

    |EDIT| In the time taken to write this fantastic piece of literature, it has come to my attention that someone else has broken this record, so it now stands at 198 Levels. Bugger.

    *For those of you who are interested, consoles work in Binary, which is a series of 0's and 1's. Basically, if it's 0, then it's 0 multiplied by a number, and if it's 1, it's 1 times a number. The binary system goes 1,2,4,8,16,32,64,128 etc. So, for example, 29 in binary would be 11101, as it works out as (1x16) + (1x8) + (1x4) + (0x2) + (1x1) = 29. Get it? Good!

    In a 16 bit machine, the console's processor can handle 16 binary numbers (1111 1111 1111 1111 max) at a time, and is stored in one of it's 16 registries. However, two registries can be used to store large values by stating that they are really one value. This makes the processor can handle 32 binary numbers, with 1111 1111 1111 1111 1111 1111 1111 1111 being the maximum number, and that is 4,294,967,294.

    Some games could handle more, but that uses more processor time, and usually reserved to the big games at the time. You can see that PC's are 32 bit by going onto Calculator and setting it to Scientific, then highlighting Bin, and you can only type in 32 digits. There, don't say I'm not educational.

    Thursday, March 20, 2003

    Under Siege
    Okay, now it's personal. I'm getting a bit scared to go out now. Not because that big Iraqi bloke is going to drop Ricin all over us, but rather the opposition. The so called 'No To War' (of which there are a large number of, students, lecturers and random people) have taken over almost every square meter of land from here to the bus stop, making my trip home almost impossible to make. What have we done? We're just in the wrong place at the wrong time, and now we cannot leave the building (okay, we probably could if the worst came to the worst, and it's probably just me over-reacting), but it's a bit annoying, as now no buses can get through.

    I'm sorry, but these people are hoping to stop a war by creating almost war like chaos for themselves is beyond belief. Some people really have too much time on their hands. Also, while this is major to me, but do you really think, with what Bush and Blair have on their plates right now really is going to fret that the 699 not being able to go to Carnatic via Greenbank?

    I respect other people's opinions, but I'd like to think that everybody can have a voice. Millions in Iraq don't at the moment, so you want to deny that? Admittedly, I'd rather not war, nobody wants a war. Unfortunately, that's all Saddam's left us with.

    One thing that is good about being cooked up in a building is that we've spent most the time making funny flash movies of people we don't like, and also checking out the totally immense Terminator 3 trailer.

    As David Gray sang: "See you on the other side"

    Keep the Faith


    The Red's Go Marching Out Out Out!
    Before talking about the match itself, What a total crybaby! Wenger calling Valencia cheaters. How short a memory does the guy have? Little over a week ago his team was responsible for a greasy, but totally innocent player getting sent off. The words 'pot', 'kettle' and 'black' come to mind.

    CAREW!! What a finish!

    Really, last night gave me great pleasure seeing the scum drop out. However, I was logically hoping that Arseholes....sorry...Arsenal would go on, as it would give us a better chance of us winning the Premiership. But I guess we'll just have to settle with European glory.

    In other news
    I got a nasty e-mail today from those lovely people at saying I had violated their TOS. Here is a couple of snippetts:-
    "The majority of the TOS violations are from referencing an image hosted on BoomSpeed.Com from a non-auction related site using a Free 1Meg Account."
    Okay, where the heck did it say that in the TOS?
    "We understand that a lot of our users might not be aware of the Terms of Service restrictions on free 1Meg accounts."
    Hmmm.....and when did they sneak that in?
    "Your account can be quickly reactivated if you become a BoomSpeed.Com subscriber and help support us in providing the service that you have found to be so very easy to use."
    Slow, clumbersome, and PAID FOR!?!?! Nope, that really doesn't quite sell it for me.

    Then comes the hard sell, which is pretty standard stuff. Read any Geocities or Tripod 'Webmaster Newsletter' and you'll get the jist of it.

    Championship Manager: Even Saddam plays it, (he aint bad at it as well, took Al-Baghdad United to the quarters of the CAF Champions Cup, and he signed Gary Neville).
    In all seriousness I guess I should really talk about the war (as everybody else seems to anyway). I'm not really too fussed about it. I don't know why. I'd rather there not be a war, as Saddam and Bush should really settle things the blokes way of doing it, in a drinking competitions. I thought I was the only one who didn't give a shit, thankfully, Mr. Random Blog agrees with me. One thing about war is that people post random lyrics to song. Not one to wane on that tradition, here's mine, from a Feeder song.

    "Today it all feels fine
    A sense of freedom fills your mind
    Can't think about tomorrow
    Just breathe the air inside
    And bring on back that lonely smile
    Can't think about tomorrow."

    Does it serve a purpose to what is going on at the moment? Does it thump. It's just some random lyrics from the song that was on the radio when they gave one of those annoying "News Flashes" to announce that we are actually at war. Three words spring to mind 'Shit', 'Sherlock' and 'No'. I think I'll sit down for a war-length long session of Championship Manager, as regular war casualty The Simpsons will probably get cancelled for a undefined length of time.

    And, really, that's all I've got to say about that.

    Oh, and my flash project has been chosen to entice prospective students. I may just host it online. What's it all about? Well, I cannot say, but it could very easily give Strong Bad E-mail a run for it's money.

    Finally, probably one of the coolest things going as far as link exchanging/fun weblog stuff is Name That Blog, it gives bloggers (besides me) hope that they are actually popular in that you get a quote, and you have to quite literally name what blog is it from. It's pretty much like the £1m question on the old Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, and you'll be buggered if you can actually nail the question, but nevertheless, it's a good way of proverbially "Spreading the Word". To participate, visit the site, and also you need an RSS Feed. You can get one (with a bit of work) from here. Link curteosy from Kat (the 'Name That Blog' link, the RSSify link I found all by myself, such the interepid researching cheeky little blighter that I am).

    Keep the Faith


    Wednesday, March 19, 2003

    No Slacking!
    I've got a pile of work a mile long, a mile wide and a mile high. Well, maybe not that much, but a fair bit. And guess what? I cannot be bothered doing it. I'm in one of those sorts of moods at the moment.

    Last night was pretty fun. Halo, Premier Manager 97, and the recently acquired Unreal Tournament. Infogrames must be awarded a medal for their masterful work on the Unreal series, it's fantastic. Tourney is probably one of my favourites mind, as it was the first one that I really got into. The reason I must commend Infogrames has got to be the way that Unreal is programmed. Yes, I have a slow as a paraplegic snail 233MMX, with a fair whack of RAM, and a fairly average graphics card. Unreal Tourney in 800x600 in low detail (which, in fairness makes no difference) goes as fast as me chasing after an attractive bird, going downhill, on a rocket propelled. 'Aha!' I hear you say, 'But I bet it's as stutterary as Gareth Gates!'. Not so, it's as smooth as me when I finally caught up with that attractive bird (what do you mean it's not that smooth). All in all, it's cheap (I picked up my copy for a fiver), it's better than Quake III, and it's well worth playing. I cannot wait until next year, where I can connect to the Uni's network connection, and I get a fast connection. Oh ho, let the fragginating commence!

    Massive slap on the wrist goes to boomspeed image hosting, for er...not hosting images. There's something wrong with it (it won't host images, and I cannot re-upload them), and that explains the old rex x's and images all around. Like everything in my life, it's not my fault.

    |EDIT|Couple of other things
    Firstly, just this second a bird has walked into the room with the worst smelling perfume in the world. It's friggin awful! Kind of imagine mustard gas, mixed with ricin, mixed with farts. Like that. I'm sure she works for Saddam, as a suicide smeller.

    Curteosy of K's Blog it's Things Me And My Girfriend Have Argued About. Top quality irrelevant kicking up a fuss about everything type situation.

    Finally, another note to self: Get "Sky Is Falling" my Lifehouse.

    Keep the Faith


    Tuesday, March 18, 2003

    A Bohdran! (I think that's how you spell it)
    Care In The Community
    Those located in Century FM catchment area who listen to Tony Horne in the morning would of been in for a treat this morning. You see, you would of heard yours truly grace the airwaves. They didn't mention my name, just giving information of the difficulties on Brownlow Hill (a street in Liverpool), due to roadworks. There, don't say I don't care about the community.

    Yesterday, which will probably make some people lose a little bit of pride they had for me, I went out. Not to an Irish jig (although I so would of loved to have gone), but to Double Vision. I wasn't drinking much (hey, I was drinking Guiness which is, ahem, a very acquired taste), and went home about midnight, sober as a judge, and a good few quid spent.

    This is going to sound awful, but I'm not too keen on going out (not as much as I'm used to). I'm usually very insociable in clubs, not saying that I'm shy, just that my humour is wasted on drunk people (actually, it's probably wasted on 90 percent of sober people as well), and it does bore me.

    So what do I like? Pool, music, darts, anything like that in clubs. Also, anything original (Blakes in Liverpool: A Video Games Pub/Club, for example) When I say music, I don't mean like "Quality Dance" (not my words) I mean live acts (ie. Walkabout) and indie (ie. Double Vision: Not last night). Clubs with dance doesn't really set my world alight.

    Maybe being the only sober person in Liverpool kind of put a damper on all things.

    A pic of Redhat Linux. Yeah, it was that clear for me too.
    This morning, I used the scary Linux to run the even more scary MySQL. The jury is still out at the moment, but Redhat (I think that what it was) Linux scared me. Maybe because it was new, maybe because it was different. Maybe because there's some wierd subconsial effect from a kid called Linus posting some snails through my letterbox when I was 3. Maybe all of these.

    It seems harmless though. Maybe because I was entering unchartered waters. Sure some blogs may provide assistance. Even "Mr. Resistor" (a guy who is on my course who is brilliant at circuits, hence earning that name) would probably cower in the corner when it comes to Linux. However, I'm willing to try and learn it. I mean, there are cool things on it. There's a Matrix screensaver, which is nice. There is also about 3 browsers, a semi decent IRC client. A personal organiser, a news ticker, and a few other goodies. This where Microsoft is soundy beaten, as they crap all over Wordpad, Disk Defragmenter, Scan Disk and everything else, except Freecell.

    Vive la Microsoft.

    Note To Self: Get Jimmy Eat World "Praise Chorous", JEW: "Sweetness" and Matchbox 20: "Can I Be You".

    Curtosy of El Slackio: Trogdor, the Video Game!

    I can see a PS2 conversion coming!

    Keep The Faith


    Monday, March 17, 2003

    Is that your final answer?
    Ooh I feel just like that show with that cheeky blighter Chris Tarrent on it.
    Question:How in samosa's name did I get 100 out of (presumably) 100 in my Data Structures assignment?

    A: Worked Hard, B: Lecturer was lineant, C: Easy exam, D: I am just that fantastic.

    Yeah, I thought B too.

    How did I though? I cannot get excited about arrays, stacks, queues, mutators, accessors, linked-lists etc. Must of been a fluke really. Really, I'm absolutely over the moon that I did, as I think that if I get a similar mark in the next assesment (on the nerdy MySQL), then I don't need to bother revising for the exam. As Paul Daniels would say "Ooh hoo that's magic!".

    I celebrated the only way I know how. As Andreas Johnson once sang, today was glorious. Very mild, and not a cloud in the sky. The temptation got the better of me. The ice cream van that is permantly parked outside of my lonely room drawed me with it's 99ers, Mint Choc Chip Feasts, Callipos, Zooms, Maxibons and Mivvis so much that I really couldn't not do business with it. Simple 99 with flake, choccy sauce and nuts. Not very original, no, but bloddy gorgeous.*

    Lara Croft? Pah! Give me C64 Sega bird anyday
    The weather was lovely. So what did I do all afternoon? Played on the communal megadrive. We just got the old'un but golden Super Monaco GP. The thing I always remember about the game was the advert. Part of the Sega "Cyber Razor Cut" adverts, it's was a classic.
    [Clean cut cool bloke has some fit bird in a slow smoochy dance above some skyline.]
    CCCB: can't play Super Monaco all day long.
    [Camera pans around]
    CCCB: Not unless you got one of these.
    [Camera pans down to look at woman's bum Sega Game Gear with, suprise suprise, Super Monaco on it].
    First time I watched that I thought "I've got a Sega Game Gear, show me some lovin'".

    Although probably not in as matter of words.

    Quick Crappy Joke:
    Q: What is Winnie The Pooh's favourite Assembler command?
    A: EOR

    The jokes keep coming.

    Finally, as there is usually one drunken Irishman around, tonight is St. Paddy's day. Everybody is partying just like the Irish, and getting wankered, except me, as I don't feel too good.

    I rocked St. David's day though, so that was cool.

    Keep the Faith


    *I am quite aware of the irony in having an ice cream with a dodgy tooth. So sue me (I don't mean that literally).

    Once again, I feel it's appropriate to include the croc.
    Then it starts again, and it won't go away. Up in your room you know you find your head is holding out for the welcome of a Better Day
    Just when I thought I was out of the woods again regarding tooth, it's decided to rear it's ugly head once again. Last night was agony in time, and had a very restless night. Wasn't the worst I had mind, but it's a pain in the arse. Or, tooth.

    I'm heading back to Liverpool in just over an hour, and I've found out that I have a dentist appointment. While I am happy (re: see above), I was thinking of staying the weekend in Liverpool. Sure, as Mr. Houllier would say, 'A blessing in Disguise'.

    Much fun (yes, even more than bouncy castles) can be had over at The Wayback Machine, it's a pretty comprehensive (images aside) look back at the history of the internet. Unfortunately, for reasons that man does not want to know, this blog, which has suffered more changes than Dr. Jeckyll, is not on it. However, my old site is! Here are a few more of my favourites:-

    WWF: 1998 Stylee
    When the design of Imperial Doughnut wasn't really too important
    Cyn. What WERE you thinking!?!
    ...don't think that you're getting away with it too Roland as well
    Everybody's favourite search engine, when it wasn't everybody's favourite search engine
    Nice to see that the Uni always practiced what it HTML'ed preached...
    To everybody who loves the ground that that bloke from star trek walks on: BEHOLD!

    I can see what I'm going to be playing with all day! (no smutty jokes please, we're Brittish.)

    Keep the Faith


    |EDIT| Quick apologies to a few people. Firstly yz. She reviewed my site about a month ago and I referred to her as a he. I can confirm the otherwise. Also, the girl who refers to as "Me". I doubted her at first, and gave her the worst label ever. It was my mistake, and I am sorry. Right, no more being humble for me lads!

    Sunday, March 16, 2003

    I know a girl called Elsa she's into Alka Seltzer...apparently
    Bowling For Soup
    Yesterday, once my self-induced hangover* wayvered thanks to the godsend formally known as Alka-Seltzer and I was right as rain, ready to hit Weatherspoons again.

    Or not. You see, as it was a friend's birthday, and a couple of people thought it would be cool to go bowling. Which is fine, except that I am quite abysmal at bowling. I spend more time in the gutters than the average drunken prostitute. However, yesterday was not the case.

    Dispite being crapper than a crappy crap crap thing, I always do what the late great Curt "Mr. Perfect" Henning always did in those old WWF promotional videos. For those of you who don't know what the hell I'm talking about (probably all of you) is that you bowl, immediately turn around and stand with your hands out to the side of you in a way saying "I'm fantastic, give me your adulation" and you get a strike. However, I don't. I usually get a few down, but not many. Anyway, I ended up with a very commendable 86, with the winner getting a rather scary 149.**

    By far the best tactic of the night had to go to Mark. He read 10 pin bowling, and thought "bowling" was in the sense that we have been seeing at the Cricket World Cup ie: overarm as fast as you can. Sure, he nearly broke a window, and probably some kids skull if it had gone through the window, but by 'eck, it worked okay.

    After, we did hit Weatherspoons for a bit, but last night taught me something, how crap weatherspoons is with a hangover/sober. It wasn't too much fun. So we left.

    And that pretty much concludes the weekend's activities. It has been pretty good for me (hangover aside), as I have been kept busy. Back to work tomorrow though.

    Keep the Faith


    *That site is pretty good for hangover cures, although to watch it at 2am, while pissed, in the dark, looking at a bright white screen, is probably not the best way to avoid a hangover.
    **Don't ask me to explain the rules of bowling if you write 'How can you get 149 out of 10 frames?!'. Because you're stupid.

    I'm not crazy, I'm just a little Unwell
    Okay, last nights post was a mistake. It is the proverbial "Schoolboy Error" of the blogging world: Don't post pissed. Instead of drinking water or getting some early night R+R, I posted something which made no sense whatsoever. And I usually post crap anyway. Pissed crap posted makes even less sense. That's what last night's post was about.

    Don't get me wrong, I had a hell of a night. Below are some of the highlights:-

  • I seem to remember Scott Stiener esque belly to belly suplexing someone. Obviously nowhere near as graceful (and Stiener is?) as the man himself, and I think I hurt my knee because of it.

  • Ian Hislop: I cannot really think of anything funny to say about him, so make up your own witty comment.
    Music was pretty Kieron Dyer, with the most indie piece of music was probably Robbie Williams. However, our highly intelligent level of political humour that puts Ian Hislop of Private Eye to shame came to the fore when, during 'Angels' by Robbie Williams, you know the line "She won't forsake me, I'm loving Angels instead...", we replaced the word 'angels' with the name of our mates mum. Oh the jokes keepa coming.
  • God knows how I got home last night, my walking was about as straight as a poofter with a broken leg. I must of knocked on a few doors on the street before stumbling home.
  • Needless to say, I was majorly sloshed.

    However, one of the greatest days to be hungover is a Saturday. Why? Saturday Morning Telly is fantastic. I woke up ridiculously early (for a student) at around 11am, with the mother of all hangovers. So, as the evil light penetrated my thin curtains like......something that penetrates something (make your own metaphor up there), I decided to watch a bit of the box. CD:UK, The Morning Line, Trans World Sport. All quality programs, that penetrated my brain like....something that penetrates something (again, make up your own metaphor). Still hungover mind. Such is the life of the student.

    Keep the Faith


    |EDIT|Due to factors outside of my control (ie. Blogger screwing up), and some (ie. hangovers/couldn't be arsed hybrid feelings) this post took me 24 hours, and should of really been posted yesterday but.....y'know.

    Saturday, March 15, 2003

    I'm probably too pissed to post but...
    One thing about being pissed is that I make sure my handwriting's legible. That way, I don't make a tit of myself (either that, or my typing abilities is relayed in my subconcious). Either way, I know some people will doubt my pissheadiness, but I am. Purely, 100%, paid privaledges pissed.

    Oh fucking hell I'm going to be hungover.

    Keep the Faith


    Friday, March 14, 2003

    They Drink It In The Congo
    For those who need to know
    I know I did.
    "Way down deep in the middle of the congo
    The python picked a passion fruit, a guava and a mango
    He stuck it with the others and he danced a dainty tango
    The rhino said: 'I know, we'll call it um bongo'

    "Um bongo um bongo they drink it in the congo

    "The python picked the passion fruit
    The marmoset the mandarin
    The parrot painted packets
    That the whole caboodle landed in
    So when it comes to sun and fun and goodness in the jungle
    They all prefer the sunny funny one they call um bongo

    "Um bongo um bongo they drink it in the congo"
    Buried somewhere in a link from Scaryduck.

    Note To Self: Get "Stay Young" By Oasis.

    Keep the Faith


    I thought I didn't have as much money as I reported. Here is the final worked out table on how much I won over the Cheltenham festival:-

    Day Spent Winners Return Profit
    1. 4 races, £1 each horse. 1. Back In Front (N Williamson) 3-1f
    2. Azertyuiop (R Walsh) 5/4f


    2. 7 races, £2 Moscow Flyer, rest £1. 1. Moscow Flyer (B Geraghty) 7/4f
    2. Xenophon (M Fitzgerald) 4/1f
    3. Liberman (T McCoy) 2/1f



    £4.50 (£6.75 total)
    3. 7 races, £3 La Landiere, £2 Limestone Lad, £1 rest 1. La Landiere (R Johnson) 5-4f
    2. Kingscliff (Mr R Young) 11-4f
    1. Best Mate (J Culloty) 13-8f




    £3.12, (£9.87 total)

    I forgot to take off the money I spent. Even so, it's a nice tidy profit. Anyway, no more posts about gambling....well, not until Aintree and the Grand National, anyway.

    That wasn't the only mistake made in yesterday's post. Yeserday, I couldn't be arsed by hard coding HTML (as everybody should), so I used Frontpage. For a little bit of fun, let's play "Spot the Cockup!" See if you can spot the mistake in the passage below.

    Duh. Me a stupid head.

    That'll keep you interested for a good two minutes. I think I'll keep it in there, as some people are doubting weather or not I'm actually human.

    Today, I'm heading home for the weekend, as three of my mates are going abroad for 6 months. It's hard to believe it, but for the first time, I'm not going to see some of my closer friends for about 6 months. Usually I had the comfort that if I had a bad week in uni, I could head home and see a few of my friends back home. There's going to be even fewer of them now. Oh well, life goes on.

    Keep The Faith


    Thursday, March 13, 2003

    Get up, shut up, give me Neurofen Plus,
    To be honest, my tooth is actually getting slowly better. It's only when I think about it that it hurts. Therefore, in Data Structures it probably won't hurt. As the last time that I thought about anything in DS was the time that I also poured rock salt on Lucifer's Driveway, as hell had just frozen over.

    Ooh, Blogger's decided to work now, happy days. Onto the main post.

    Some people are doubting my talents as a horse picker. To be honest, I do as well. Fortunately I know a few people who not only are not bad at picking them, but also know professional gamblers, so they know what they're doing. Although my biggest bet until today is £2, people seem to think that I have lost money. Below is a table of my wins and losses.

    Day Spent Winners Return Profit
    1. 4 races, £1 each horse. 1. Back In Front (N Williamson) 3-1f
    2. Azertyuiop (R Walsh) 5/4f


    2. 7 races, £2 Moscow Flyer, rest £1. 1. Moscow Flyer (B Geraghty) 7/4f
    2. Xenophon (M Fitzgerald) 4/1f
    3. Liberman (T McCoy) 2/1f



    £12.50 (£14.75 total)
    3. 7 races, £3 La Landiere, £2 Limestone Lad, £1 rest - - -£10.00 (At Absolute Worst), (£4.75 total)

    Moscow Flyer: Won me a nice few bob.
    So, if none of my runners come in today, I'm still a couple of pint's £4.75 up. So not bad for a first attempt, and a small money gambler, don't you think?

    What's my tip for today, I bet you're dying to know. Well, using my £1 free bet in the Sun, I put 50p Each Way (as long as they finish 1st, 2nd or 3rd) Accumulator (they all have to come up) on La Landiere (5:10), Limestone Lad (2:35), Best Mate (3:15) and Mise Rafturai (5:45), that's my "Large Novelty Household Item To Represent A Good Bet" Of the Day.

    Overall, I don't usually get too much into horseracing, but the past three days I've been hooked. So whatever the results today (I'm up for the festival though, happy days!) I'll be a happy bunny (I would like just <u>one</u> winner though!).

    The Great Gary Neville strikes again!
    In Other News
    Today I built my first ever PC in Multimedia. Yes, a P100, cranking along on Windows 95 was the first one that I (with a partner) put together today. I felt quite special, like I know what it feels like to be a father. This is probably better though, as you don't have to deal with nappies (diapers, for all you Yankee doodlers out there). I was pretty much plain sailing from plugging the RAM in, and cranking on the juice, as suprise, suprise, Windows 95 is my OS of choice (pah, 98+ is for USB-Whores).

    Manchester United didn't do as well as I thought they would, with Gary "I'm The Slightly Less Useless" Neville somehow rescuing the team. Just what is happening with these Neville's? Phil scored a few so far this season, and after Neville's Shevchenko in his prime stylee strike, I'm beginning to worry about who I can scapegoat now. 1-1 final score, but we were already though, unlike those cheating twats Arsenal.

    Keep the Faith


    |EDIT| And the second this post came up, I found out that Spectroscope (a friggin 20-1 shot) won the first race, with mine finishing second. Way to go proving me wrong.

    Wednesday, March 12, 2003

    Nice to see you. To see you, nice.
    Don't Be Sad, as 2 Out Of 3 Aint Bad...
    Unfortunately, 1 out of 2 is. Stupid Rhinestone Cowboy had an off day, meaning my double didn't come up. Bugger. If only gambling was more like Play Your Cards Right, as legend Bruce Forsyth would say "You get nothing for a pair, not in this game.". If that was the case, I'd be laughing all the way to the bank.

    I did win £4 yesterday though, so that was cool. Todays Rhys' "Large Novelty Household Item To Represent A Good Bet" Of the Day! is a treble (that's 3, for thick people) on Pizarro (2:00), Moscow Flyer (3:15) and Keen Leader (2:35)**

    I've won an award! Yes, lieing somewhere between The Golden Web Awards and the Worthington Cup in terms of prestigeous-ness is the "Best Blog in The Frozen South Awards 2003", anyway, taking an astronomical 30.7% of the votes, this very site won! Surelty this sites webmaster who used his university connection with multiple IP's to spam the poll popularity won me the vote. Happy days for all.

    My tooth is annoying me again. I've probably overdosed on Bonjela a hundred times over. It's not painful, but it is keeping me awake. Even through Data Structures, and, believe me, that takes some doing. Pure injected industrial strength caffine flavoured adrenaline had trouble doing that.

    Nothing else special is happening at the moment, feeling a bit down because of my tooth, slightly hungry, got £7 riding on today races. Don't know what else to say, comment at will.

    Keep the Faith


    Tuesday, March 11, 2003

    Talking to the Songbird Yesterday..
    ...And it was pissing me off. Yes, some bird was singing outside my window at 5am this morning, and when I say "some bird singing", I don't mean in an Avril Lavigne "I'm With You" type situation (which would of been nice), I'm talking about a common sparrow, or crow, or blue tit (snigger), who seems to awake before even the sunny boy wakes up, and sings the same tune over and over again. I'm going to take an AK-47 to it soon. Not like I have one.

    One increasing growth of the internet is the phonetic nightmare called "Photoshop Phridays". This is where people with far too much time on their hands edit currently existing pictures to something funnier. Usually a shot at pop culture, they can be funny. However, most are pants, and it's mainly a dig for nerdy computer science people who cannot be arsed people (either that, or I've missed the point of them completely). However, they have now penetrated mainstream culture, with quite possibly one of the funniest ever.

    The Worthless Cup: Replaced!

    I can just see the flames building....

    Today begins the start of the Cheltenham Festival, a three day horse racing event. For those who bought todays papers and wanted to put their free bets on some horse. I've put a double on Azertyuiop and Rhinestone Cowboy, at around 7-1. That's not a bad bet. It is infact Rhys' "Large Novelty Household Item To Represent A Good Bet" Of the Day!**

    Mmmmm. Pie.
    Those of you who know me intimately (not too intimately, but on a daily kinda life type situation) know that for my Java assignment was to find Pi (as in 3.141 etc.) to as many places as possible. I managed three. Needless to say, I was pretty narked to find that my programming skills are less than your standard keyring calulators. In any rate, if I was pissed before, then now I'm punch drunk annoyed. Why? Well, thanks to Im A Donut, some smart alec decided to out do me by, ooh, a few million friggin places.

    |EDIT| I've had my first winner at Cheltenham. Back In Front (3-1) won the Supreme Novices' Hurdle. As that kid said, "The Milkybars are on me!"

    Keep the Faith


    **I cannot be held responsible if this bet doesn't come up. Lets face it, it probably won't, but it may. It's got a shot. So if you are one of these types that put astronomical amounts of money on dumb bets, don't cry me a river when it doesn't come in.

    Monday, March 10, 2003

    You say tomato, I say red fruity thing
    The Ultimate Consummate V-Neck
    There's a new love in my life. Click Here (thanks to Roley Boy for the link. Somebody, please, GET ME THAT T-SHIRT!

    Those who listen to Yahoo Launch will know that "pretty good, better than most, but not outstanding" Linkin Park is the "Yahoo! Artist of the Month", with "My Friend is a friend of the lead singer's girlfriend" (and quality outfit) The Music being the "Yahoo! Emerging Artist of the Month". Back to LP, they are sponsored by telecommunications and electronical production dynamo formally known as Nokia. So, they are advertised as well as Linkin Park on Launch. Unfortunately, the guy who does the voice overs is probably not of this earth, and pronounces "Nok-ear" as "No-ki-er". And it's sounds funny, kinda like the "You say Tomayto, I say Tomato" sketch.

    Guess you just had to be there.

    Tooth Update: Annoyingly Tingly

    Keep the Faith


    You know, on days like today, I'm actually quite happy I'm not a Crocodile...
    Here Comes The Pain
    This morning, I am in so much discomfort due to toothache/sore gums. Bonjela isn't working, and I was lucky if I had 3 hours sleep last night. Of course, you can tell I'm not a happy bunny, as it's half 7 in the morning. Most normal people would still be in bed, and most students would be still coming home from the night before. Not I. I'm awake, lively, and in pain.

    So what's causing this discomfort? I have no idea. Wisdom teeth? Too much beer? Bad karma? Spilling the Tooth Fairy's pint? All are possible excuses. I'll let you know.

    So far, the best my not-quite-awake mother could offer was "It's sensitive teeth.", and I've had a look on the net. However, knowing the believability* of the internet, I'd take their advice with a pinch of salt. Especially when this was the advice.

    Toothus Pissus Offus Meeus

    Description: Toothache is caused in rare cases, by being, Welsh, witty perfect in almost every way. For everybody else it'll be not using a tea coaster on mahogany.

    Cure: Take everything with a pinch of salt.

    And there you have it.

    Incidentally, I woke up, switched it onto MTV's TMF and saw Christina Aguilera's "Beautiful". Now, I love the song, the girls gone good recently. However, the video isn't the best way to start one's day.

    Keep the Faith


    *Incidentally, I would urge everybody to check out that site, as it exposes the stupidity of many Americans (especially corperate) in a way only recently achieved my Michael Moore. Plus, it's a great laugh.

    Sunday, March 09, 2003

    Those who want a general jist of the Feeder gig click here. This pic was taken from the gig in Newport on, suprise suprise, St. Davids Day. Imagine if you will looking down on them, and without the Welsh flags + daffodils, and you should get what it was like.

    Hell Is For Heroes: Rock
    In Other News
    I've been listening to Hell Is For Heroes for the first time since the Feeder gig, and I've rekindled any love lost during the Feeder gig, as I've listened to the full version of "I Can Climb Mountains", and it's fantastic.

    For those who are unaware of popular music, here is what the albums mentioned in the post below are all about.

  • Britpop - Early/Mid 90's Indie: Oasis, Ocean Colour Scene, Suede, Blur etc.
  • Q Music - Current Indie/Rock/R+B: Foo's, Vines, Chillis, Ms. Dynamite/Datsuns etc.
  • - Cheese/Pop: "Final Countdown", "The One And Only", "Build Me Up Buttercup" etc.

  • = You must go to at least one...although not with as many people.
    Those who haven't experienced drunkeness may not notice this, but I'm quite pissed. Although this post is gramattically and spellingly perfect, I am actually quite pissed as I write this. Those who have experienced drunkeness, both as a first and third party, will know this. Why? Well, I'm just here, trying to make conversation. But failing miserably.

    Today I went to the local Weatherspoons. Dispite being voted as FHM's third least favourite boozer, it's still a good place to get pissed. God knows how much I drank . I'm a lightweight I may say, and I'm proud of it. You see, Lightweight = Cheap night out. Surely that cannot be bad, can it? I know people get pissed, at least, on £30. If I can get pissed on a fiver, then so be it. I'm not going to complain, am I?

    Keep the Faith


    Saturday, March 08, 2003

    Making Your Mind Up
    I am quite aware that there are two banners on the top of the screen. Fortunately, I'm not the only one, which leads me to believe that Blogger's on the blink. Bleeding hell, Just bought out and still problems. Someone's been taken for a ride, methinks.

    Normal service will be resumed as soon as I can be arsed.

    "Once the match started, looketh did Big Show. But he couldn't find Shane, which way did he go?"*
    Despite being ridiculously attractive, I'm also indecisive. I cannot make my mind up at all about anything (except down the bookies, there it's whoever doesn't win, by my standards) and usually my mind says 'you know what Rhys? You cannot make your mind up, so fuck off'. Either way, I usaully end up just forgetting about something that I want, because I cannot decide that I want it or not.

    This is the important bit.

    This week I've seen three CD's: The Q Album, Britpop, and, and I want them all. I've decided that I am going to buy one. Which one though? I cannot decide. I want you to decide. Yes, now, it's the first "Affect My Life in some Insignifigant Way!". I will buy it, and give a full review of the CD I get, just to please you. I'm scuppered at which one to get, so please, guys, vote on the poll to the left, and affect my life once and for all!

    There will be more ways to directly affect my life, they will not be big things (such as jobs, future hopeful girlfriends etc.) but small things, what to buy, where to go etc.

    In other news
    This weekend hasn't really been extrodinary exciting yet, but I don't care. I'm getting some serious time on Final Fantasy X, and my plan is to finish it before Final Fantasy X-2 (the direct sequel, the first ever in Final Fantasy) is released.

    Keep The Faith


    * I will be so impressed if anybody gets where (exact reference) that picture is from...

    Friday, March 07, 2003

    Bow down to me Queenie, and my four, count 'em, FOUR birthdays!
    Flogging a Dead Horse
    Like a cow who produces beer instead of dairy products, I love milking my birthday for all it's worth. I worked out last night that I'll probably have 4 birthdays this year. That's two more than the Queen, and three more than most normal people, and four more than my mum likes to admit she has. Tonight is the second of my birthdays (which, also coincidentally, it's also my Gran's), with Saturday and Sunday being birthday-like events.

    Tonight is the night spent with the family where I get my presents. It'll be nice to see what I get (duh), although I'm a bit worried about the cake. Apparently, there is something that will go on my Sara Lee choccy gateaux that has 7 or so health warnings. Probably ricin or summit.

    Last night was comedy club, arugably the funniest night in Liverpool on a Thursday. This time however I didn't get ripped. The compere was pretty funny, and was ripping into a few people I knew at the front of the stage. I don't think they were too pleased mind.

    Right I got an exam at 1pm today, so I'd better start revising.

    Keep the Faith


    Thursday, March 06, 2003

    Bonjela: Saint or sinner?
    Burninating The Countryside
    Last night (although, you must admit, I hid it quite well) I had another sleepless night. The reason being that I think I'm teething again, and one (left side, two in from center) tooth is really pissing me off. However, after nearly a tubes worth of Bonjela, it's much better. Unfortunately, I seem to have a Bonjela overdose as this morning, my heel is sore. I'm never fully fit. Bastards.

    After reading NME today, I've decided I don't understand a single review in that magazine. Here is a (sample) review I found online for Eels - Souljacker Pt. 1:-

    "The one man in rock madder than Macy Gray has given up hanging around Cancer Wards feeling sorry for himself and taken to haunting school playgrounds dressed as the Unabomber babbling about serial killers that believe they can hijack peoples souls by killing them. And his first victims appear to have been The White Stripes as this is a fuzzy bluez-rock rollock full of chainsaw guitars and wearing "Rid Of me" -era PJ Harveys skin as a cardigan "sisters brothers/make better lovers/family affair down under the covers". howls E, cackling and barking like an AK-wielding lunatic in a primary school; another frenetic, mildly disturbing and downright brilliant swerve from the mainstream pop of "Daisies Of The Galaxy" onto the dark backroads of the human psyche by the only man with the map. But frankly, E mate, you can forget about ever trying to hitch-hike again."
    One Oh well, the mag is cool (except for the fascination with The Strokes, who really aren't as good as everybody says they are) and it had a free poster of Avril. However, quite disturbingly, I've worked out I've spent more on Avril Lavigne posters while at university than I have on textbooks. Ooer.

    Haven't thought what I'm doing tonight, I really want to do something tonight (as I'm not in until 12 tomorrow), however, I also have an exam tomorrow. I'm tossing (ooerr) up if I go out, and also where. Comedy Club (funny, and early night, but not as good as Walkabout), Walkabout (late night, but laugh) or none (early night, but boring). Oh decisions, decisions.

    Links of the moment That are doing the rounds in my CMMS class faster than that ugly Scots bird:

  • Quite possibly the funniest piece of film ever made on the internet (yep, even funny than that bloke blowing up that whale). I won't say the title, but it's related to a current movie.
  • If not for the comics, then the graphics, if not for the graphics, it's for the webmaster who is about as lazy as yours truly. Ladies and Gentlemen, this is OldSkooled.
  • And finally, want to know how many people there are in the UK that share the same name as you (nah, me neither). Well if you do, visit where it searches the electral register for similarly named people. There are 5 Rhys Wynne's in this country, and 38 Richard Wynnes. So I feel special! We could get together and form a pop group (or summit).
  • Or Maybe Not

    Keep the Faith


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